Monday, February 25, 2008

break.the.wall.
i can officially cancel off 2 ppl from my hear-me-out list.
left with 4.
okay, on the bright side..at least i've still got my 4!

i feel like plastic.
as in seriously.
useful.
but taken advantage of.
non-recyclable.
synthetic.
fake.(is it the same?)
mould-able with abit of temperature.
disposable.

okay. note that this only happens in a certain context in my life.
don't overgeneralise.

some ppl are just intolerable.
so much that i'm caught complaining about her everyday.
and it has become my conversational topic.
and my source of hairloss. LOL
and the funniest thing is that when u pray for yourself to be more gracious and patient to accept these ppl.....u keep bumping into them more often than before in your daily agenda.
and for me it has come to a point of no escape.
it's like as if God placed her right smack in front of me and said:
"there! she's here. deal with ur problem! u can't run now."
to a certain extent it'd annoy u.
but it's the only way out..well in my case, that is.
apart from allll of that...

orientation was surprisingly fun!
i don't believe i ran around screaming dripping wet with flour-covered hair.
brought back memories of audacious camp game where i dumped the whole tub of batter on myself..HAHA.
good times. good times.
too bad can't go for the so-called amazing race tmr.
got work to do. hais.
at least there's rest time!
(:

sherni talks too much. she should shut up. how far do u agree.?
HAHA!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

oh the drama.
i failed.
i failed.
i failed.
i'm sorry.
one last chance?

what was i thinking man!
i just sat there like an imbecile.
argh.
why do i always not do what i can and want to?
i have the perfect plans all laid out nicely in my head.....but they never or hardly get executed.
which is silly cos....argh...they would've worked for sure.
what is wrong with me?

and after what happened during the mtg ytd......
it is settled.
i'm leaving.
for good.
no joke.
seriously.
for good.

i think i've done enough for one year.

anw..why's it always me?
to sacrifice this and that...
to be honest...
to be the peacemaker..
to be the one crossing sleep off my schedule..
to be running around like it's my show altogether..

it's not even my job!
and why do i do the things i do
someone throw me a bomb.

for those i burst out at..sorries..but i hope u understood why la..
it's for the good of ______________
i can't be giving in all the time.

an open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.
i dunno if it fits here..but oh wells.
help me out. i can't do it alone.


thanks girl. i loved it.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

perked.

this week was disastrous.
well at least that was how it started off la.

silly camp on wed.
mon did s.k. work.
slept at 330.
tues did s.k. work.
slept at 3.
wed. half dead in sch. x_______x

forget how the camp went man.
more like focus on the debrief.
WASTE OF TIME.
sat there.
was like suan-ing session for (the evil woman who's name i dread to even type).
i think basic courtesy is to give credit to ppl who actually deserve it.
i'm not talking about myself here kay....as in other ppl..
heh...i can survive well without her crediting...which is mostly entangled in sarcasm anyway.
rawr.

and she posed a very wrong rhetorical qn :

  • Which area do u think u've grown most in terms of character from ur time in ics and why?
myANS: patience. cos i've got ppl like u to tolerate.

if not for that voice in me that asked me to shutup and remain seated, i would've stood up and screamed at her.

really.
for all the mess and confusion she causes...we get disorientated..confused...we try and find the solution on our own..succeed at it...and then later get scolded again for not doing it right the first time around.
like hello?!?! u messed our plan up! argh.

and for the first time...i realised how scared i was of balloon-popping.
i was traumatised for a couple of hours.
any loud noises sent me running.
and any tiny thing got me highly agitated.
(sorry to whoever i screamed at and threw things at that day ): ......)

it was weird la.
i'm guessing it was due to emotional instability since the start of the day.
it's the only logical conclusion i can come up with.
but haha...it sounds terribly ridiculous.

but there was one thing that made me happy that day...
some kid accidentally crashed into me..
and he just suddenly asked me..who did the drawings on the walls?
i said we all kind of chipped in to help.
he said he liked it alot.
i guess that's enough to warm ur heart, right?

moving on to thurs.
luyi's bdae.
vday.
normal procedures la huh?
din expect to stay in sch till 8.
unplanned.
din get to fulfil the ice cream craving tho.
haha.
thanks for being nice.
good timing.

fri was weird.
major weird.
as in convos that went on, on fri..were weird..out of the ordinary..whacked.
anw. the guys got 1st place for the competition.
darn the sch that copied our idea wholesale. but whatever la.
ended at indian timing once again...late.
went down ps for subway.
i'm beginning to like subway.
haha.
reached home at 1210.
coolness.

slept for 10hours.
shiokness.
did nth the whole day.

sunday services were great.
as in both first and third.

i don't think it was out of line..that i dreamt of floods twice within the week..
in addition to the 2 floods that came up in my house itself.
it was like the whole family mobilised.
and man, my 2nd dream was spastic.
i was out with a bunch of ppl..friends la..but can't rmb which grp of friends..
waves were climbing 3-4 storeys high.. it was madness..
and i was going canoeing.
it's ridiculous!
i was standing at the edge of the walking plank that led out to the sea..
telling the rest..they were bonkers in going canoeing.
but somehow or other..someone threw me into a canoe..and i was in the stupid sea.
bobbing crazily.
capsized.
and i woke up before i drowned.

it was scary.
and real.
and scary.

and when pst yang talked about floods i was like..woah..right...interesting.
haha
and third service...bout the forgiveness thing..
i guess it was smthing i needed after this week's happenings.
get things right again.

and now i check the time and i realised i've been bloging this post for the past 1hour now.
sloooow.
off to meet Jesus and sleeeeeeep.

PE tmr.
yes. can lose fat.
HAHA.
dun kill me for saying that. (you know who u are).





'the person to beat is not in front, but inside.' -some marathon slogan

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Myweek.
Wed had cny celebrations in sch.
Quite lame la.
Surprisingly ics dance got good response.
Shocking!
Anw..then the silly alumni came down…talk some rubbish
Intro themselves to us..also no point la..
Supposed to do painting in sch.
Sch closed at ONE.
Argh.
So went subway. But they ran out of bread.

like which shop doesn't have bread but still opens their shop???!!
Went bk. Kind of sick of it alr.


then went beach with my sis. nice man!











Thurs met up to paint again.
At subashini’s house.
I’m super smart la.
Din ensure I had enough marjong(tt’s how popular spells it) paper.
like which shops opens on CNY right? wad was i expecting man!
So we only painted 3/5 of the ginomous palace.
From like 3 to 9. then had dinner as some kopitiam.

and lemme tell u...dinner at a kopitiam at 9pm on CNY was major weird..
ppl are drunk at every other table..
1. the smell
2. the behaviour.
REPULSIVE.

Reached home at 11. (thank u guys for walking me to the bus stop. seriously appreciate it.)
I hate walking alone at night. it's scary. u have no idea what/who lurks out there.
why did cab fares have to increase?!
Fri cleaned my room. It’s super super clean and nice now.
Haha even my parents are shocked. (:
Then had family come over at night.
Sian. Only one 5-yr-old. The rest all old ppl.
Played monopoly. Bankrupt-ed my uncles.
Once they left. Clean up till 12. slept at 2.30.argh.
Sat. thought I could sleep in. but had hw to do.
Then met up the ics ppl again to paint. From like 3 to 8.
ics helps me waste my life..without me even asking.
Basically I spent my cny hols messing around with paint and paper under void decks.
how glamorous.
And today’s Sunday.
Supposed to go for first svc. Overslept!
So did more hw.
Met for lunch at 1130. macs. i'm gna burst with fats soon.
Went for third svc instead. lollipops transformed into powerpops!
And now I’m darn bored.
Ending off here. -


Definition of beauty - ratio 2:1
Ask me why. HAA

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

blended.
daddy here i am.
here i am again.

i feel like a little girl
trying to conquer the world.

take a look at the ordinary
don't need to look for paradise

would fireworks fly
would angels sing with lollipops
would dinosaurs cry
would babies all gurgle
in laughter and surprise??


daddy here i am.
here i am again.





could we do more than hi.

Friday, February 01, 2008

onemanband.boo

danging donuts.
sch.mtg.rain.party.rain.home.
a day messed up.
messed up.
just walk away.
when i'm all alone
and as blue as can be
i call for dark chocolates.


craving calls.