was reading ytd and this caught my attention...
" don't make wrong accusations against one who hasn't wronged you." pro 4:30
like woah. haah. so wad i told them was straight from the bible and i din even know it. so cool.
but yah. ppl go around doing exactly wad the verse tells us not to do. and it's like they're making other ppl start not liking someone for no reason...wad's becoming. oh wells. at least i tried to do something about it. :)
and i've realised. quite some time back in fact. but never really cared about it.
i can't do anything wrong without getting in trouble for it. it's proven.and oh man. it stinks.
in pri sch.. i din bring art piece and i was made to stand outside the stinking classroom the whole day..while my friend got to sit in class..go for break and enjoy the day without getting caught.
in secondary sch.. if i din do some hw..the silly teacher would just have to do a spot check on hw on that particular day.. so fortunate eh.
and now jc! crap la. din go to sch 1 day. din attend 1 gp tut and i get suspended from lessons up till 12noon. while the rest who kenna caught..were in it cos they ponned class like 3 or 4 times and skipped sch so many times. and some others din even get in trouble. i was like WAD!!ugh.
well at least i wasn't the only one..got 5 others. we were made to sit and study and not go for class ... but we ended up talking all the way. so it turned up to be more fun...!! haha.. okok. not fun. yes. i learnt my lesson.):
but i've grown to realise. and well heard it over the pulpit too. ''hurt ppl hurt ppl''
just keep on hurting more and more ppl. gosh. i almost became someone's accomplice in crime till i found out his ulterior motives. evil! haha. i shall not elaborate. but it's really weird and can get really out of hand. i'm on the look out i tell you.. freaky ppl exist.

bwaha.
i'mbored.
perhaps the reason why i do this so often.
baking pineapple tarts at cell ytd was super fun!!!!!
altho everything turned out chao da at the bottom..and they all looked like tau sar piah. LOL.
now i just refuse to do my homework. sch sucks.
and i'm certainly not liking jc life.
super sian la.
getting used to classroom politics.pointless but they exist somehow.
led worship ytd at cell!wah. i messed it up. but at least God showed up. and cell ppl were supportive enough to back me up when i lost my words on the paper...
thanks cell!!(:
haha.
yay gna meet hanwei tmr!!!!!!!
*why do u always do this to me termly. for all that i do..or at least try to do..wad do u do?ignore.abandon.and just order around. I QUIT! u hear me?
i thought we pact-ed the last time it happened. u always screw up your bit la. and make me look like some moron in front of ppl. crap la u. i mean yah. i forgive u. but just hope u rmb not to do it the next time. or perhaps u don't realise wad u're doing that u're so ignorant of it...hmm..

haha! i ponned sch today. feels awesome!!!!!!! LOLs.
but really. a good break from lecture marathons and horrible evil tut teachers..grr.
but i love tammy thiang! she's super nice..and super dramatic. haas. obviously her nature itself makes lessons not boring in a sense..but we feel more relaxed..ha. ytd's lit..we had mark tan and her squabble over wad lunch he should get for her....we watched for about 7 mins. live comedy.cool.
haha. i feel like some low-wage worker today. manual labour man. fold hundreds of brochures. copyprint 4 book..each like about 200 pages...tired.tired..
tmr making pineapple tarts! woohoo!tmr I'M leading worship.hope i dun mess up halfway..haha.tmr got violin again.sians.not fun and enjoyable anymore.so pressured by silly exam.),:

hmm. where shall i start?

mon was weird. ppl offered me liquor chocs. eew. i almost ate it without knowing. so gross la. can smell the breaths of those who ate..like 1m away..i felt weird.
but later in the day i felt better.like with sarah and jeanette.we kind of tried studying together but really there was nth to study except for silly gp hw.yucks. xp. but like ya..we shared and stuff..and there was this person playing the piano downstairs..to the tune of Still. so like we were all singing....so funny..have this happen in sch. lol.
i simply can't rmb wad happened on tues.must have been thoroughly bored tt i din bother listen to anything tt was gg on arnd me. haas
oh wait! i rmb. haha
like all tuesdays. i was late for sch again! this time worse than all the other times. 40mins late! but not my fault wad. no one told me i had to be in sch at 8.40 for stinkin assembly.so i tot reach sch by 9. but the stupid driver driving at 40km/h..super cannot make it lar! thank GOd for dawn and terry they were on e same bus..someone called to tell them that sch started at 8.40. then they came to tell me..and the time was already 8.45.darn it la.alr 5 mins late. then we tot can take cab and it'll be faster. but we waited like for a million years for silly cab. still got 2 bucks surcharge! wah then the whole time we kept hurrying the driver..poor uncle. so once we reached we tot can drive into sch .. but NO! silly security guard stopped the cab and asked us to get out. then make us stand in line wif all the other late ppl. about 50 ppl late lar! got like 5 of my class ppl. hah! we like some criminal or smthing. take our ids. make us line up. then scold and scream at us for being late. then onebyone call us up to collect back the card. and wthk la. all 3 times i was late, all 3 times they called me by my last name...come one la. 1st middle last name..u obviously call the first right! u call the last name..must put ms or mr in front wad..crap these ppl. then 5 of us..we strolled to econs class at like 9.30..and least we knew that class had inspecting tchr there. even more in trouble ya. 2nd in a row i was late for econs tut. and i wasn't even settled down and mr.ang had to call me up for qn. i was blank ba. even tho i knew for sure the qn was easy. crap. 1st lesson and i was making a fool outta myself. hais. wake up sherni!! stop sleeping!!
wed was kind of freaky. in a way. but not altogether. i dunno.but yah. came to know of the major segregation of my class. one side is pro-jesse. other side is anti-jesse. the last one is either the-wadever-ppl or the -wad's-gg-on-ppl. lols.i fall in the range of the wadever ppl. cos i seriously wna maintain neutral standings. anyway jesse hasn't really done anything to me..so there's no reason why i've got to be anti-him. but hearing how my friend kenna threatened and stuff..was scary. rumours =>> threats =>> suspension of a j2er. long story. to briefly say.. jesse's accomplice is suspended. jesse's suspended till 6 everyday aft sch. tt's all i've heard so far. along the way..friends share backgrounds and then family issues start pouring out and i'm like wah.. ppl really got such a lifestyle?? poor them. )': i hear their life and i wanted to cry. i just did as much as i could to comfort them and point them back to God. it's the least i could do. seriously, i thank GOd for my family. (:
2nd big news. some boso has been advertising me. stupid. story goes like this. some random guy was dared to get my friend's no. my friend obviously din give..but was like..oh there's this other cedarian who's better than me..and went on and on.. came to find out. crap la.was me.
then there's this bavani person from cedar now in some other sch..who knows my classmate and aish. info got passed...and i know who to blame for this..gna whack him tmr! XP
and then there are ppl who come up to me and ask if this or that person's pretty. like go and see for youself la for goodness sake! ppl's idea of pretty isn't the same, hello?they haven't even seen them before..heard brief descriptions of them..and they come to me.wdr.
but anyhows.yesterday guitar emsemble was nice. learnt to pluck!cool. but my fingers were forzen cos too cold la.. 18degrees!!!!numbed.and then came home..IFOUND MY GUITAR BOOK!hahas so happy bwaha. i tot i lost it.
yet in all that happens. i try to stand. firm to what's right. altho tt's super hard in this crap society. scarcity exists. unlimted pressures of the world. limited patience and strength. therefore i make choices. as such..incurring opportunity costs. if i do what's right. the opp.cost is not fitting in. but nvm. God stands with me. or it is the other way around?

cools. lol.
yesterday overslept. miss violin. so have to make up tmr night.crap.so late. but i have to.
but cell was great.even tho no P&W.oops.): but yah. was on servanthood. i felt it was good.like we sort of cleared our doubts on what can or can't be done and stuff...and it's just basically this. we can achieve greatness through serving!.yea.
1. serve in Love
2.need humility to serve.
3. serve w/o expecting rewards, appreciation or recognition.
4. God rewards us.
5.when we serve ppl, we are actually serving God.
and why do we serve?
1. Jesus Himself served.
2. He commanded us to.

so there. cell msg. (:
easy yet hard to do.
it's complexity in simplicty.
IRONY!
lol.ok.
and as good cell members we tried applying wadever we've learnt. but we obviously failed big tim. cos we kept announcing tht we helped to do this and that and wanted others to notice our efforts. it takes time. and i'm willing to learn to come to that place..hehe..

and today overslept for 1st service so went for 2nd.
it was apt. for the situation i was in.well sort of at least.
Psalm 123 =>> LEARN TO WAIT.
something i really need to learn.
somethings i dun mind waiting but there are time i want things immediately..and tt's wrong cos to hurry God is to find fault in Him and well...noway. Patience. something that's being nurtured in me this past year..and still going on.. i'll make it!! yea.haha.
and yah. i feel so fortunate to be in Cornerstone. to be able to call it home. well..yah..friends family..so on.nice. to know where u beong is impt.

3rd servie msg. preached before..in op 247 camp. but yah. missed 3rd service since beginning of the year. and coming back felt kind of weird..esp during worship.like something was amiss. but the best was at the end.like i felt God envelop me..so cool eh.and yah..i felt safe..that i could always depend on Him that no matter what goes on around me, He's with me. and when Terry came and prayed for me...it was like exactly what i was asking God about...wow.but yah.things like these still amaze me even tho they've happened like a kazillion times...haha..

well back to sch tmr. i'm so guai. stayed up to finish ALL my work. haha. but yah. spirit of excellence!! tough. but must try. i shall press on! yea!

ok.sleep time. to survive on 4hrs of rest tmr..ahz.

so it's true. in sr, the teachers rock.but the students suck. and i include myself in that lot as well.
i haven't actually done much of my hw this week.. almost ponned (but i didn't) two impt tutorials and lectures..and yah..lol failed my presentation..but it wasn't some test or anything...lol. with the exception of geog and math. all the teachers are like super nice and u can see their dedication.. but well. students will always be students. i mean..take for example mt. 1. i hate it. 2. i dont bother to speak tamil at all. all these put together = to an irritated teacher. but well..she closed one eye on me and aish. it's like whatever qn she asked i answered in eng. and she was like..don't u speak tamil..and i said haha no. LOL! but she din force us to..cos i told her i'd only speak during oral.then she felt relieved. haha. weird. but yah. tt's me. some how the saying that...u can't write well if u don't speak well.....it doesn't fit when it comes to me. haha. it's called pro-ness!! hehe. but anyways. the rest of the class is like woah! they read the passage and i'm lost...so fast la. and they speak to me during discussions and i'm lost also. to hear them speak eng is weird. where'd they come from!!!!??? aiyo. haha. then so happened this girl has the exact same name as me..same spelling somemore. like wah piang. see her = so not me .PLmgs. bubbling enthusiasm to participate highly actively in class discussions. and i'm like whatever. so the teacher kind of got fed up and decided to call names to answer..and she never calls debra..haha! so i dun need to ans!or read passages! so fun!=)) bad. but i dun care for now.
and it's scary to note how male lit teachers are gay-ish. eew. for some weird reason. i dunno. but why is it that those who are good in lit and eng are all like that..help!
this past week kind of woke me up.
like i've realised how hard it is to actually be your true self in the midst of these 'fake' people. by just watching the way ppl talk and stuff...u can tell there's a lack of genuinity in the r/s. it's like one BIG group of ppl. call themselves friends. but really dun know nuts about one another. i dunno how ppl can stand it.. but i felt weird. it's like the whole thing's so bogus. so i kind of backed off from this whole bunch of ppl and tried to get to know my CG ppl..and man..they're super nice.haha. and the whole.. ARGO1 is so united thing.. was just crap. so now. 1A05. cool bunch of ppl. out of which ..so happened all my friends are saved. there's like 5 of us.
and it's like i'm king of trapped bw the 2 groups. argo ppl want me join them. but i dun want to. i'm kind of stuck. i dunno. see how stuff goes.
but really. it's super hard to be different. especially when u've got no one to stand with u. but it certainly pays off.. maybe it's easier for a bochap person like me..idunno la.
i know i need sleep!
lots of it.
and i need more time.
to practise violin. and occasionally slot in my guitar. so that i can lead worship when i'm suddenly notified to. like tmr la. gta lead. but my bk is like not with me. then i haven't touched the guitar for like months. and tmr morning got violin. how in e world am i gna play tmr??! i feel bad to tell adorie i can't play..and if she can take over but yah i've got to.
why don;t they try to understand the plight that i'm in!y? Jesus help me. i'm stuck in so many places. stuck.

haven't blogged in like a week.so busy. but yes i have been doing great!
had zone retreat from fri to sat. so fun. and good time to learn more and bond and stuff. yah.
then came back on sun...so heavy lar lug all the stuff to church. then after that still got to muss 3rd serrvice for concert rehearsal at @ 2! ha. but yha. went well. concert began at like 5. my crap dress the strap got prob. i hate last min crap ups. but yah. managed to fix it but so uncomfortable la. crap. in e end i played up there..in the hot spotlight with 6 other ppl...made like 2 mistakes but no one noticed!! *hees* pro-ness. but yah. so fast finished. then the finale item...mr lee made me stand next to the goofy jc guy. the only one there about my age. crap. he looked so toot la. but anyways. he was nice. except for the fact he din wan let go of my hand.shake for so long sia. mad. i feel bad. i forgot his name. lol. but it's some hard to pronounce kind. so intimidating stand next to all the pro players all the diploma and grade 8 ppl...an play the same piece as them...then all their hand vibrato at almost every other note..while i'm struggling to ensure i play all my notes correctly and in tune. lol. it's bad and sad.
but hey..my big thank you!to su and ann and eunice and her friend and merri for coming down to watch! lol. but yah i know i became moody after a while cos i was mad at some ppl. bah.
still. i think so far the week's been alright! coping fine. only that geog is the worst sub now. lectures are sleep time and tutorials are slack time. dunno wad she toking also. and mt! oh man. why can't they scrap tamil??? if saran was in my class not so bad la. but no..he's not. some other crap ppl...who hardly speak eng are there..and i dunno wad they're talking... gosh..don't ppl speak eng!! they talk like news casters. my goodness!!! and i go there and speak koyak tamil..fully eng-accented and everyone stares at me. what can i do??! lol. at least there aish who back me up. she's just like me. lol. we stick out together. cedar unite! lol.
had ROCMOC training yesterday. can die. but fun! 100 plus push ups. 50 guy style. 50 girl style. 50 crunches. 5 chin ups..oh wait..i only managed 3. cannot la. then ran round track twice..and yah then climbed the wall.....so hard la. but really very fun. but i dun think i'll stay. altho i like vigour. my body can't take it. so i'll probably switch to guitar club for now..till i go to a sch tt has strings ensemble. and can play violin!!! yes!
got back theory results yesterday!!!! got 82/100~ so proud of myself. for such a tough paper i managed well! yay me! haha. my parents are happy. so i'm happy. but my teacher wanted distinction.but then she doesn't know how hard the paper was compared to those i'd done as practice....haha..so presentations to do and no word from the other members yet. dunno how. plus i'm so tired...hais. eyes are like closing durin geog lit and tl lectures.....argh.. cannot! i bettter stop this. it's bad. sr ppl are so fake muggers. mug also mug properly la. they mug the wrong things. ha. i din bother do gp research and everyone did except me. den i just wrote some crap at the sch library...and the rest wrote like esays!!! madness. then came the lesson. and Chacko said do grp ppt!! ha! so i was smart by not being kaisu ! lol. see not always is following the crowd good. heh. ok tired. zzzzzzzz.

voom! so fast! start sch proper liao. & next week is concert! ohman.scared.lols.
today in sch was like WAAAD!! 1hr principal talk.followed by 3 lectures straight. lol.
1st one.lit. was great! ms thiam? is dat her name? lol. can't rmb. but yah.she's super good. reminds me of joshua sng.but tt's alright i guess.at least not boring. lol. but yah.she super not shy to talk of stuff wan..haha. after that was like math. timetable say LT4.we like some goondus sit and wait for half an hour.then one j2 say it's in LT5.like stupid la. nobody tell us also. but anw since left only half and hour..majority of my og pon lecture.i din care either.lol. sit in lib and shake leg.then played bomberman.bah.i'm so sucky at it.lol. after that got geog lecture.ohman.if i wasn't sitting in row 4 i would've slept.crazeee la she. her eng is like dunno wad la.can't even understand.plus it's monotonous. then make us copy all the topics and books to get..like wadever.we dun even need to la.crap.i hope i get the other tchr for geog or i'll just be sleeping the next few weeks. oh yah.haha.i was like supposed to fast lunch. but then i din eat anything from between 6.30 to like 1 till i got home.and i realised i fasted like break or something. and i was already dying.stomach started cramping. lol. i wondered how i'd be able to last till dinner. wad made it worse was that after sch..we ended at like 12+.so darn early la.so GOOD! lol. yah.walked out wif nic and sarah. i got a shock when he whipped out a cigarette.lol. i was like WAD!!? it was strawberry flavoured.crap la. breathe that can almost die already. sarah and i were like keeping our distance but wind had to blow.crap. thank God my bus came early.i made my escape! (: but yah.then go home felt weird.like wna puke but nth to puke.then yah lor. din eat lunch either cos stomach felt weird.then crap.got fever.sickening la. i dunno how i kenna but yah. nth to blame also.so i'm confused. so no sch tmr! but i dun mind cos tmr all the lecture is rubbish wan..wad econs and hist and tl.haha.can pon all! okok.this isn't good but i dun care now.hahas.now all teary eyed and spinning head.go sleep.hahas

screamy bumms. hahas. i'm so bored.
not looking forward to lecture-marathons.
1. __ is like so super ___________
2. __ is dreadfully _________
3. ___ is so __________
4. ____ is just _____
5. _______ is _________
6. and i can't help but say that ___ is ___
time for fill in the blanks!!!
lol.
i must be crazy.
wait i think i am.
no time ply violin this week man. i felt so bad gg for lesson and saying i din touch e instrument. bah. but mr lee as always so super nice. but then..even though i din practise..my playing still not bad eh.. haha. crap concert is next sun. exam next month. results 2 weeks time. oh man. haha.

whaha!!! super fun!!! ARGO won!!!!! we rock!!!! ohhh...ARGO boleh!! LOL.
silly cheers. sing throughout the day nonstop can die wan eh.face so pain. scream like mad.
but worth all my pains. cos yah. WE WON! stupid bismarck can just go fly kite la.
but so paiseh ah today. silly dance thing. stand right in front everyone can see..all the silly mistakes i made. oh man. so paiseh. i still love the fact that the hall's aircon-ed. but the canteen is like so small. one bench we squeeze 5 people eh. cannot breathe. haha. when we first came we had a 25o pt combo cheer. but we broke the record and had a 10 000 pt combo. but really..i din like that cheer...follow e tune of sexy back and hips don't lie...some weird thing la..but yah. we got lots of heads to turn. (: great to hear that some of them dun mind coming for service...hehe.. but not so soon....cos of stinking violin concert practise can't go for third. then suki's like wanting to meet up.then can't bring her church cos she doesn't wna wake up early..and i can't go for third till aft 14jan..and she's leaving on 27th! crap la.

haha my OG's nuts. we had like wine popping time..sorry..sparkling wine popping time..so fun! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. tired. the whole grp's like on one msn convo now..confusing..lol.

funniness. tues supposedly had grp outing..but then only 6 ppl go. like diao. ok nvm. then we also din know wad to do. ha. walked arnd TM then wanted to watch movie but the timing din fit. then 6 of us went shopping for a bag for me..cos if not i got no bag to carry to sch.lol. bored..so we went arcade. so cool eh this machine game thingy... can win ipods and PSPs and stuff...so cool. but so small chance of winning. then went take neoprint. lol first timer.so lousy me. but so fun. cheryl called me a neoprint virgin. o_o'' like ok. lol.and poor andre was a loner guy. WAHA. too bad. had dinner and talked for like super long.and i was super late to go home. lol. and as usual atm machine andre cabbed us back.dropped lucy, purdee and me. outpouring of cash man.. but i was like 1hr late home..haha..bad.

and yesterday.first day of orientation. OG group totally rocks!!!! oh man. they're all like so super nice. haha ARGO 1. so spas. but loud and basically madness. the madness leaks out of basically only 6 ppl in e grp la. there's anne nicolette stefanie john and me. we crazy people. lol. cos we were so bored we had to entertain ourselves. lol. yea i know. nuts. but i mean honestly..the sch compound's terrible. i went to the canteen and felt claustraphobic. so small..so SQUASHED!!! how to sit and eat!!!! oh man. nvm. but good thing is the hall's aircon-ed!! yea! but freezing cold la. but then even as the ppl were super nice.the programmes were bad and boring. butt got numbed sitting in the hall for like 3 hrs straight. but ya. so fun. enter hall and made a friend in like 5 secs. funny. the weirdest thing is that the girls weren't the shy ones. the guys were. talk to them they smile and don't talk. lol. their excuse is that it's the first day. 0_0'' end so late also. 6! but ya. was alright. i felt guity there that i din appreciate cedar's environment cos SR's one was horrible.

BUT.....today was super fun!! maybe cos the rest kind of opened up more today. but the excuse of... it's only the second day..still remained. lol. haha i felt abit like i was in cedar orientation. we were like cheering the whole time!! lol. but ARGO family is like reigning champion for 2 straight days la.*hees* we pro la.win 1800 points just for a cheer. ytd we got 9580 while Demeter got only 4750. HAH! oh yah! how could i forget. the college anthem! wah man. when i first heard it i burst out laughing. i couldn't help it. it sounded like something they'd play in a carnival or something. then the 2nd verse sound like some care bear song. ok. i sound mean. but one thing good..easy to remember lyrics and sing. but it gets stuck in ur head once u start singing. college dance was ok la. zining desperately wanted to partner keith.lol.supposedly the best looking one in the OG.i agree. but dun need until so wad right. lol. he felt so weird.so shy somemore. nth sophisticated but easy to learn so i din feel like some loser who couldn't dance cos my dance partner was just like me. lol! but so weird la. hold some stranger to dance. but besides all that i think we still rock la. all e other groups hate us cos we're so annoying in cheeering..and cos we just always win. hah! it's great to be back in school!!!!!!!!!! and have friends who are as crazy..and share e same faith and yah..trio-ness.suan e guys. back to sch tmr. go campfire! and dinner. hahas ya. =))

hahas! new year!!!
lol.
new expectations.
new encounters.
new revelations.
new people.
new mindset.
new way of doing things.
new me.