Monday, March 31, 2008

so it is.

had a nice chat with eljay ytd.
seriously took the load off me.
but kind of got me confused a little after that.
realised i never really considered alot of circumstances before diving in to what i want.

i don't think it's gna be easy getting over this tho.

argh. why do i never learn.
or do i just take too long to learn.

____ _____. two words i dread having created in me now.
why can't it be easy.
why must it be full of lines and neon signs...
it's making me overly conscious.
ARGH.

sometimes i wish when i want to forget smthing...i am able to, the very next instant.
then again..it's only a wish.

it used to be i ___ more than a duck can swim.
now it's i ____ no more.
and i thought it'd work out.
silly me!




argh. when will i learn.

Friday, March 28, 2008

IT'S FRIDAY
IT'S FRIDAYY.
IT'S FRIIDAAYYY!!!!!!
i actually got through today.
amazing.
got off to a bad start though.
din finish history tutorials cos i missed the 2 lectures of the week...
so i din know how to do the worksheet la!dang.
but somehow in sch i managed to complete it in half an hour...i think it's the EMJAY atmosphere.
and thank goodness i was spared from the ultimate embarrassment in class today.
vermay is confusingly nice...but i still don't like her. hyeh.
so yea...i woke up late today.
well ann woke me up. which is not good.
cabbed to sch. wallet-burn.
ayyy...i think i cabbed too many times the past week itself.
stupid cab fares. WAH! and the cab driver this morning...argh...alr this morning woke up late...and super frantic...and he made wrong turns on the expressway!! and got me all irritated at7plus am....
saddd..forfeited cheerleading trial cos i din bring a shirt and din manage to borrow either........... ):
okay so that's for a bad morning only.

had a great wednesday though.
went out and subwayyed at the beach with mandy.
super unexpected but we had a nice chat at bbq pit 17.
and ohh!! haha...super funny...was it like mating season all of a sudden or what man...
we saw 2 white birds that kept crossing each others flight paths and kept somersaulting in the air and doing other weird stuff...
then there were 2 funny crows on some palm tree...
what they were doing looked super wrong...haha which probably gave us the wrong idea la!
so yea...came home around 9. did abit or work..and totally zonked out.

i think i've acquired a new habit this year : to fall asleep without turning of my lights chargers radio comp and stuff...and wake up around 2 plus 3 am to turn them all off...HAHA.

i don't even know why i'm excited that it's friday. not like i've got free time on weekends anyway.
there's cell tmr. which happens to end early..no point also..cos i gta be back home to do nothing.
then sun services.
reach home at 6plus plus plus. read up abit eat then sleep. LOL.
i've got so much time u see.

hais.
sometimes i wonder wad's gna happen to me.
or at least what's going on around me la...
argh.
thank goodness i have people like timberland and looqueen and frenchlady who willingly hear me out. thank u all! LOL

darn the homework for the weekend.
SSPOOIILEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





_________

MAYBE it's because i'm tired and cranky everyday, that i go to school with the feeling that everyone around me hates me. or maybe it's something else.
maybe it's not my feeling. maybe it's true.

OHHS.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

buzzing.

"..even though u can't hear or see them at all,
a person's a person, no matter how small." - Horton, Dr. Seuss' Horton hears a Who.

okay..so it's a kid's dr.seuss movie...and yes..i don't usually watch those cartoon/animated movies. but my sis insisted so i gave in. and in the end even tho she didn't watch it with me..i enjoyed it. surprisingly.
i learnt alot actually.

what moved me was the way Horton stood up for something he belived in. it was the most absurd and ridiculous thing anyone could think of...but he kept his faith. and despite the mockery and difficulties he had to fight through, he remained faithful till the end. reminds u of something? i mean, the fella couldn't even see the person living in the speck! and then it hit me. this would probably be like super lame or whatever to other ppl but seriously, the people we meet everyday, the friends we have, we can see them, hear them but if something were to jeopardize them, would we stand up for them; do anything beyond the norm?
and something else the movie explicitly presents - trust works both ways.

...one-way friendships wear me out...

i think society has misused/overrated the term: friend.


oh i watched Suburban Girl too.
it's about the life of this associate-editor...
and it was filmed really nicely...
okay the plot was predictable.
and the style was good too..
haha. emphasised on a good dad-daughter r/s.
and how the best things don't always end up as the best choices to make.(sounds weird..but ohwells..)
minus all the side-track issues and stuff...and u get a good show.



i should get down to work. lol.
due dates: monday. monday. MONDAY!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

another teeyewsdaay.

it's surprising how everytime (more accurately defined as 3 out of 5 times) whatever i ponder about..or like stuff related to decisions i make during the week..gets preached at the pulpit on sunday.

it's really freaky in a sense la.

cos like i came across this movie online called The Omega Code...about the end times and how it's gna be..like the super modern version la.. and my goodness!
i was: 1. FREAKED OUT. i couldn't sleep till like 4 in the morning.
2. convicted. like..what have i been doing man!?
i think if all that happened in the movie happened today...i'd be a gonner. i would've failed the first round itself..what more the years to come...notgoodnotgood...!!!
oh and dun watch omega code 2.....seriously.

and i was really working back days, weeks and years of my walk with Jesus.
have i taken for granted many things?
have i made sacrifices for the things of God?
that night was like a super...get-it-right-this-time-around-kind-of-decision night.

and like woah. these questions get screamed back at me on sunday.
haha. sorry. can't get over it.

ohyea.
God seriously answers prayers fast. i'm always amazed.
less than 12hours and i get my answer. AHHH!

march holls...was honestly a disappointment.
they asked me to plan.
i planned.
the plan was executed.day1..day2.
day3 and they told me to scrap the plan and stay home.
who gets grounded on a holiday?!?!?! dang.
wasn't productive staying at home tho.
1. slacked
2. got depressed over poems.(WHAT'S WRONG with sylvia plath for gdness sake!?!?)argh.
3. designed my new pair of sch shoes!
4. watched 3movies.
5. did math!
6. did history read-ups! (YAY me!!)
7. cleared my cupboard. but somehow it's still messy. heh

i was supposed to go cut hair! EAT! EAT!
and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!
sry for pangseh-ing all u ppl.. ):
dang.
anth week before i'm free from this crrap grounding.

dad got me mad....again.
I'M NOT 12 DADDY! i'm not 12.
u don't even practise what u preach i'm supposed to trust u and come to u for advice and tell u stuff so u can fulfil ur daddy-duties?
sorry.. don't think it works that way.
on that note... i don't trust men/guys...they're all the same anyways.

cell on sat was NIICE!
beach has good atmosphere for worshipping on the account that i had no trouble leading la.
and 2 little kids kept coming to join us whenever we sangs songs or just shared...aah..so adorable!! haha.
too bad i had to leave early..or it would've been better and wouldn't have forced the rest to leave too...and we could've played more bad frisbee and soaked our feet in half hot and half cold sand!
ORANGE KAYA! yumm. haha.

i learnt smthing yesterday. Lit homework's easier accomplished when you're in the super-est emo-est moments in the ulu-est corner of a factory sch aka. EMJAY where no one can ever find you, your papers and the blasting music. i'm loving lit. lol.

FYI. Frankenstein ISN'T a monster. he's the scientist who created the nameless monster.



i'll trust and obey and love you everyday even if i hate my pay or if my best friend's gay, you'll still stay as the one i'll praise all day.

boo.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

..
why is my reflection someone i don't know
must i pretend that i'm someone else for all time
must there be a secret me i'm forced to hide

Saturday, March 08, 2008

sorry, we're out of bread.

perspectives widened.
thoughts reappearing.

i love my subway times this week...haha

thank God for people like [appleliciouslove4god].
for all the unplanned outings and exciting hours we spend.
and for free icecream and cheesy clam chowders.
love u loads girl! my treat next time!

merri we have to go cut hair and shop!

***
trying hard to dismiss
but how can i win
if u keep dragging me in?

***

i wish i could do something to help.
sorry.




[tell me who am. seriously.] O________O



oh by the way.
I GOT B FOR TAMIL!
i know it's not an a.
but i'm still praising God.
(:

Sunday, March 02, 2008

cold cold day
cold weather.
cold heart.

this week had been major interesting.
orientation.
then cca recruitment.
then sch.
it's like my heart kenna bombed so many times this week.
the term's not appropriate i must add...
but it's really how it felt like la.it not always in a negative way....
altho it has a negative conotation to it...
hais.
dunno la.
lit is supposed to help me in expressing myself in words..
but it's so hard..
maybe it's cos i'm refusing to try at this juncture.
well anyhow..
my class ppl are awesome.
except that it's execeptionally big for an arts class..
TWENTYTWO PEOPLE!
not used to it.
i love the cozy small classroom setting thingy.
like 10-12 ppl.
ideal.
less chance of having internal politics and clique problems and outcast problems and stuff..
at least there's no PROJECT WORK to HAUNT ME!
results out this week....
must get D and above for PW.
not expecting an A or a B.
seriously.
haha.
but tamil must get A.
but B's fine too... haha.
but i want my A!
so much for being anti-tamil/indian.
no one believes my writ lang power.
must show them!
haha.

ytd had combined cell - 2.3 plus 4.4
and as usual i went in late.
cos of darn ics. argh.
reached at 3 plus!
and they alr finished intro and stuff..
so they were explaining some icebreaker thingy...
and i was like...CRAP.
i dunno anyone. LOL. except for like 2 or 3..the rest i din know by face or name also..
haha but i managed not to pasang in the end.
strategy!
like real.

i guess today talking to blank wasn't akward as usual.
somehow it was normal.
WEIRD!
i have never talked more than 2 sentences at one go in person.
ohwells.
there's always a first to everything.
somehow i liked it the way it was before.
RAHS.
haha.
but she's nice la.

COLD.
it was a cold day today.





[can't. or more like refusing to get it out.] dang.