y'know. it's really funny when u think of certain stuff.
like how people can be so different from what u expect them to be like.
and how sometimes u feel as if everything's just dragging slowly in ur life.
and how somethings really feel like deja vu. although it's crap but yah.
it's pretty freaky. like how everything that's happening at that very moment has already occured before.
take for example soccer practice.
i still remember that scene so vividly.
me standing behind this brown-haired girl in a white tee.
her running towards the ball..ready to kick it.
it's like it has all happened before.
throughout my lifespan so far it's like i've experienced certain things before they'd even taken place.
whether in a dream. or just in my thoughts.
and i mean these stuff happen so regularly that i don't feel real.
no one'd understand but yah.
i dunno ah.
there's something wrong with me these days.
and i'm pretty sure about it.
i don't like who i'm becoming.
i'm not me.
i'm this someone else. i don't recognize myself.
and i don't seem to be having much fun being this someone else.
it's the hols. and i'm supposed to be happy having fun and all.
but truthfully speaking, i'm not. despite all the events and activities and stuff, it's like i'm not even there.
and i hate it. i want to be me. and i want to enjoy the hols as me.and so far despite all this, i realise i'm myself when i'm with a certain 2 people. i feel fake. like i'm just putting up this front. it's not that i'm trying to hide stuff or anything but somehow even if i try to express certain stuff..i can't. and it feels terrible.
haiz.
don't feel like saying anymore. it doesn't help like it used to.