maybe i should just let it all go away. to forget all about it would defnitely take awhile but it might afterall be worth it. can't stop thinking about it..it's like argh, just stuck there. if only something else could come and replace it or something. then again total replacement wouldn't be such a good idea. goodness, i dun even know why i'm saying all this but ya. i don't expect anyone to understand all this crap...cos well..it's just my crap.
it has come to that point of time again..every once in a while. the feeling of total satisfaction if everything in this world just vanished and i get trapped in this never-ending room of white. where it's just me and the white-ness. ha.sounds like it came out from a movie or something but ya. there're times when u just don't want anyone near you and u get so annoyed by almost everyone and start snapping at them. well yup, that's about me this past week. never imagined me locking myself in that room of mine.sitting on my bed and mugging six hours straight. i say, that was madness for me. if anyone had asked me to do that during prelims i would have screamed at them. but guess what, i actually survived those six hours..that seemed like a thousand years. i've never had my head so bloated with info in my entire life. it's like stuffing all the 22 chapters of bio and 100 pages of concentrated geog info into a small pocket where at any minute the whole thing might just burst. it felt terrible alright. but when i did bio paper..it was like woah! a whole weight off your back. it felt good. sitting there writing, not able to stop your brain from spewing info out. the bad part of it is that once you start mugging like that, all the info just sticks in your head and even though now i can totally throw away bio, i can't. i just won't go. annoyance.
well emath wasn't much of a problem, except for that silly muber sequence thing. what the heck were they asking for. the question was like so vague. argh. it's as if they ran out of questions to ask that they ask something so stupid and useless. and the number of questions they ask you to prove.. it's crazy. like they don't want us to solve it..but show them that the question is correct. now that's silly. i know for sure i busted ss. my 21/25 is a goner. hopefully i can still get my 20/25 for SBQ. i was pretty sure i did that well. well alright. let me not get too ambitious over here. for all i know they might just moderate the silly paper so that the a1 is like 80 or something. argh. cambridge people. they better mark my 'dreams' essay an a1. i deserve it. although that's abit pushy but i don't care. cedar has never given me a deserved A for all my sporting one-word compos. the whole point of the one-word compo is to write the essay with the essence of the word in it. NOT to have the essay full of that one word. that's so silly i mean ya. what's the point of your essay full of like the word 'space' or something and the whole story doesn't even make sense. except for mr sng. i guess since he's lit teacher and all, he accepts my essays as they are. why can't cedar encourage such essays? argh. like why don't they do something to help the students get more As. for a fact, according to msg history, and according to my analysis, cedar's eng sucks. but no one admits it. mine's bad too but, come on....at prelims or Os u can't afford to get a 5! oh wait. maybe you can, if you're planning to use HMT. lol. hmm..maybe that's how people still get perfect scores despite their eng. i didn't think of that. hah!
okok. i am getting abit pushy..maybe not abit. alot. well, i can't help it, especially when you know you did more than 100% and you desperately want what you want. and yes. i do want what i want. that's for those people out there who thought i'd never make it. hmph.
it's yet another friday night. another 10+ pm. just one more week. no wait. 6 more days of endurance. the matter here's not about surviving actually. it's about surviving well. well enough that you don't break down. well enough to know that you're actually doing great despite the circumstances facing you. well enough to know for sure that God's never gonna leave you!
it has come to that point of time again..every once in a while. the feeling of total satisfaction if everything in this world just vanished and i get trapped in this never-ending room of white. where it's just me and the white-ness. ha.sounds like it came out from a movie or something but ya. there're times when u just don't want anyone near you and u get so annoyed by almost everyone and start snapping at them. well yup, that's about me this past week. never imagined me locking myself in that room of mine.sitting on my bed and mugging six hours straight. i say, that was madness for me. if anyone had asked me to do that during prelims i would have screamed at them. but guess what, i actually survived those six hours..that seemed like a thousand years. i've never had my head so bloated with info in my entire life. it's like stuffing all the 22 chapters of bio and 100 pages of concentrated geog info into a small pocket where at any minute the whole thing might just burst. it felt terrible alright. but when i did bio paper..it was like woah! a whole weight off your back. it felt good. sitting there writing, not able to stop your brain from spewing info out. the bad part of it is that once you start mugging like that, all the info just sticks in your head and even though now i can totally throw away bio, i can't. i just won't go. annoyance.
well emath wasn't much of a problem, except for that silly muber sequence thing. what the heck were they asking for. the question was like so vague. argh. it's as if they ran out of questions to ask that they ask something so stupid and useless. and the number of questions they ask you to prove.. it's crazy. like they don't want us to solve it..but show them that the question is correct. now that's silly. i know for sure i busted ss. my 21/25 is a goner. hopefully i can still get my 20/25 for SBQ. i was pretty sure i did that well. well alright. let me not get too ambitious over here. for all i know they might just moderate the silly paper so that the a1 is like 80 or something. argh. cambridge people. they better mark my 'dreams' essay an a1. i deserve it. although that's abit pushy but i don't care. cedar has never given me a deserved A for all my sporting one-word compos. the whole point of the one-word compo is to write the essay with the essence of the word in it. NOT to have the essay full of that one word. that's so silly i mean ya. what's the point of your essay full of like the word 'space' or something and the whole story doesn't even make sense. except for mr sng. i guess since he's lit teacher and all, he accepts my essays as they are. why can't cedar encourage such essays? argh. like why don't they do something to help the students get more As. for a fact, according to msg history, and according to my analysis, cedar's eng sucks. but no one admits it. mine's bad too but, come on....at prelims or Os u can't afford to get a 5! oh wait. maybe you can, if you're planning to use HMT. lol. hmm..maybe that's how people still get perfect scores despite their eng. i didn't think of that. hah!
okok. i am getting abit pushy..maybe not abit. alot. well, i can't help it, especially when you know you did more than 100% and you desperately want what you want. and yes. i do want what i want. that's for those people out there who thought i'd never make it. hmph.
now just got to start on shakespeare and be thoroughly engaged in enjoing his texts. to speak in stanzas and prance around like some foolish jester, who is in fact not foolish at all.
it's yet another friday night. another 10+ pm. just one more week. no wait. 6 more days of endurance. the matter here's not about surviving actually. it's about surviving well. well enough that you don't break down. well enough to know that you're actually doing great despite the circumstances facing you. well enough to know for sure that God's never gonna leave you!
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