):
okay so it's officially been 2 whole weeks since i've gone to church. which is terribly terrible.

1st week was cos of my aunty.

yesterday was cos of me. felt sick the whole day. even at cell on sat. dunno why.

i can't afford to fall sick. it's the HOLs. plus i've got stuff to complete.

and lemme tell u, working( or should i say..child-labouring) under ur mother is no fun at all.

seriously. RAAAHs.

i'm like dying a slow death here in the stinking office.

so i'm at the church building from monday to friday. but not there on a sunday. which is totally pointless. hais. why.

why did she move out.

why did she turn into a business freak.

she cares so much more for those ppl than us at home.

i've no idea who she is anymore.

and i don't understand why she says i'm not independent.

and i don't see why i should be labelled as a useless 17-yr-old who can't do anything properly.

if i do like 10 things..and one of them is like not done properly...the rest totally get ignored. so it's like all my efforts wasted la. might as well screw the other 9 things and get the same amount of lecturing.

and it's like nothing u say ever gets heard. u can tell her the same thing 5 times..and she'll come up to u and scold u for not telling her at all. THAT'S LIKE NOT EVEN MY FAULT.

so many times. the same thing keeps repeating itself. and i feel as if i'm the only one who's tyring to solve the problem. but it won't work unless both parties try. and that's like never gonna happen.

so much for giving me an over-protected life.

i don't think it helped me much.

never given room to make my own decisions.

never given room to do things alone.

how was i supposed to learn?

i guess it is true.

a caged animal. once let loose...will have a hard time.

and even now..my decisions are being overrided in the name of authority.

it's no wonder i'm turning into a suaku(is that how u spell it??)

hais.

i wish everything was how it was last time.

when there was no lack - emotionally, financially etc.





i want to go home. my real one.