Wednesday, December 20, 2006

went to watch HAPPY FEET just now.was like super boring la. saded. i almost fell asleep.
i only fancied the 5 amigo bros. they were entertaining for the least. haha. but yah. overall it just wasn't my kind of movie.

and well..looks like the christmas dinner planning process has begun. and i don't like the sound of it cos it means i can't stay to help out at C @Ktg cos i need to be back at home dusting furniture. lols. and also means that i'll be totally bored sunday night sitting in the midst of boring adults whom i don't really like talking to cos they're plain nosey people. lols. they're my parents friends..not mine! haha. i wonder if i can have some of mine over. hmm... but then again if they've got their kids coming along...i don't mind..haha..they're cute!and fun!

looking back eh..this year, though it has been pretty much stressful, tiring and rough, i'm glad i'm able to say that God brought me through it all..giving me strength and grace to overcome stuff. 10 years of educational history. i feel old! haha. but ya. was just thinking during this hols whether or not i've made good use of it not just for myself but also the people placed around me.

strangely enough, an ancient buried secret revealed itself this year through someone. and well..she's been in my ''hated list'' since like wad..pri 1? hah. yea i think so. and well things never changed even up to p6. sad case. she followed me to cedar. i'm like 'God what do u want me to do with her!!?she's such a pain!' the good thing was that she changed. and yea. she was pretty alright after that. and it was during one of our lesson together that she blurted out that she had always disliked me cos she was jealous of me. lol. i heard it and was like..puh-lease la. jealous of me? what did i have for anyone to be envious of?? it was only then that it hit me. hmm...
but well..hey, new found info. of course the old-day enmity faded through the past 4 yrs. we ain't budds or anything. just at least i've got no 'hate-list' now.haha.


and like flipping through 2004 yearbook in the car made me think. have i done anything at all these years to say that ''yea. Daddy'll be happy!!'' ?
this year has probably been the toughest times for me in church. it's like so much on street E and big events and sch outreaches and stuff... i felt pretty useless cos like everyone's bringing so many friends and i'm not. and leaders are like ''sherni! bring people!!'' i was more or less sick and tired of doing that cos like hello? nobody can make it! and it was getting draining to do things when u already know that end to it. and i kind of gave up honestly. abit weird also like the only one in class so on about church and stuff.. it affected me ah..really.

but things changed and i realised my efforts didn't go to waste. even if no one came to cornerstone... i found out they were going to other places that were more convenient for them.. cos like east coast is super far from like the north and stuff.. but i was still discouraged.. cos i couldn't successfully bring anyone to church. it gets very sad especially since i was the only one in the silly big school from gen. but then came days nearing to grad day and the usual formalities of writing notes and stuff... and i realised that hey, i wasn't such a loser afterall. lols. sounds lame. but yah. seeds sown do not always bloom immediately. i was just trying to be myself with others and well..God's love is truly contagious. that perked me up yea.

then came camp. and like one of the sessions the speaker was saying things about reaching out to people in the school. and he was like..don't feel bad bout not bringing people to church cos what you've done is just shared the love, peace and joy that's within you..you've sown something in their lives. u never know..the person would've walked away feeling changed and different after your sharing. i heard that and i was like woah! something so simple as that..and it took me so long to get it. so well yah. i don't feel so lousy anymore cos i know i've done what i could. glad to see brenda in church too..even more at camp. i still remember the days in class where we'd snap over a tiny issue and then 'split-tables'. lols. i think there're still more ex-schmates who got saved years later. somehow things like these just make one feel bubbly all of a sudden.haha

i thank God for allowing me to 'bump' into so many wonderful people this year...letting me be a vessel and at the same time making a difference in me. they're really nice! haha..

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