what am i doing?
how is it that i'm surviving day to day....walking around like everything's alright...like no matter how mad i am..i can still smile and talk to them.. no matter how horrible things are....it's like nothing ever happened at all. i'm not even trying to be fake. it just turns out that way.
so wad's wrong? i don't know either.
it's just these days i'm getting fractious so easily.
maybe i'm angry at myself. maybe at someone else.
maybe it's really nothing at all.
maybe it's just the inability to handle stuff.
breakdown. serious.
sorry to whoever out there who became innocent victims of my outburst.
my bad.
all this managing and balancing and all...makes me think so much everyday. i was so caught up in thinking that day..i totally forgot i was crossing a road. it was only after awhile that i realised i was standing in the middle of the lane. thank God there wasn't ANY car in sight. or i'd be dead by now. scary.
cmg back home at 8 -9 plus almost everyday from doing cca proj stuff.. it's not even studying u know...by the time i get home..there's only time for dinner.shower.last min touch ups on craft items. a brief flip thru lecture notes and i hit the bed. this kind of lifestyle is NOT gna get me promoted. and my weekends are booked.FULL. sat mornings there's meetings and more compulsory meetings. ends LATE. rush for cell/service. return home late. SUN. nth to say. there's zero time. so forget abt it. so much for the weekend.
so anyway. couldn't take all the rubbish anymore. almost blew up again ytd. but no i didn't. came home early from sch today. and spent my free hours worshipping. and it worked. there was this instant release. although not totally but i sure felt better.
and i can't thank Jesus enough for the many 'miracles' He's done for me this week. seriously. it's like one after another. i din even pray for them. all i did was trust that He'll bring me trhough everyday. and God never fails. i'll just say one of them that happened. i had so much stuff to do...had no time to do my hw..and i had like 4 assignments due the next day. haven't even studied the chapters..wad more do the given hw?? so i just left everything..and spent my remaining time doing qt. and the next day...i was ready to face the teachers who would qn and scream. BUT. no. they looked at the class...and talked and said they were gna extend the deadline. not one teacher. all four of them. (:
so many things can happen. but sometimes one still feels........
so wad's wrong? i don't know either.
it's just these days i'm getting fractious so easily.
maybe i'm angry at myself. maybe at someone else.
maybe it's really nothing at all.
maybe it's just the inability to handle stuff.
breakdown. serious.
sorry to whoever out there who became innocent victims of my outburst.
my bad.
all this managing and balancing and all...makes me think so much everyday. i was so caught up in thinking that day..i totally forgot i was crossing a road. it was only after awhile that i realised i was standing in the middle of the lane. thank God there wasn't ANY car in sight. or i'd be dead by now. scary.
cmg back home at 8 -9 plus almost everyday from doing cca proj stuff.. it's not even studying u know...by the time i get home..there's only time for dinner.shower.last min touch ups on craft items. a brief flip thru lecture notes and i hit the bed. this kind of lifestyle is NOT gna get me promoted. and my weekends are booked.FULL. sat mornings there's meetings and more compulsory meetings. ends LATE. rush for cell/service. return home late. SUN. nth to say. there's zero time. so forget abt it. so much for the weekend.
so anyway. couldn't take all the rubbish anymore. almost blew up again ytd. but no i didn't. came home early from sch today. and spent my free hours worshipping. and it worked. there was this instant release. although not totally but i sure felt better.
and i can't thank Jesus enough for the many 'miracles' He's done for me this week. seriously. it's like one after another. i din even pray for them. all i did was trust that He'll bring me trhough everyday. and God never fails. i'll just say one of them that happened. i had so much stuff to do...had no time to do my hw..and i had like 4 assignments due the next day. haven't even studied the chapters..wad more do the given hw?? so i just left everything..and spent my remaining time doing qt. and the next day...i was ready to face the teachers who would qn and scream. BUT. no. they looked at the class...and talked and said they were gna extend the deadline. not one teacher. all four of them. (:
so many things can happen. but sometimes one still feels........
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