raaahs.

2008-05-08T18:57:00.002+08:00

take note, please?

whenever u read a piece of article/story/poem/blog-entry etc...bear in mind that the writer/author of the piece of work is different from the speaker/persona in it.

they're two seperate dimensions altogether. and no matter how resembling each of them might be of each other...they are different.

therefore..do not comment/criticise/impose your thoughts on how things should have been said/put across because that's how the author liked it to be done. it's your own problem how u want to perceive things and if somehow u misread and get hurt...it's not the author's fault. it's just how the speaker presents it in the article mixed with the way you think.

so..if someone constantly writes about dying and hating life and all.......
you cant just say he/she = suicidal. simply because that's just one part of the whole person..
ever bothered to try find out how the other parts of the person are like before passing your comments?

sorry but it irks me when people misread and complain and comment and pass judgements about other ppl's posts and all.

haha i don't really care what ppl think of my posts. half of them are rubbish anyways.

AND.... an 'I' in a personal entry may not always necessarily refer to the human self or the writer himself. think out of the box larr. and a 'you' is not always meant for another human wad right...can be an animal..a thing..correct??

haha.
just something i learnt in the past couple of months.
useful.
to me at least... hees (:

2008-05-05T18:39:00.002+08:00

To be or not to be; that is the question.

i have yet to come up with an answer for that.

OHHHH!!
ahhaa..i finally found the website with all the 2010-2012 future concept car models....whaha. niiicee. ^^

despite the fact that i only slept for 1 hour last night... i feel well rested.
crap. shouldn't have drank tea before i slept. it has got to be the TEA!
from 12-230am was awake but was subconsciously dreaming super weird stuff...
like how mandy was teaching me piano and i was so bad at it which made her so irritated at my slow learning ability. ?!
and how i went leaf-surfing in some ulu-ated rainforest somewhere in the world. leaf-surfing is just like surfing on the sea riding on a board....but using a giant leaf to surf on slippery earth instead.. disgusting..but it seemed fun..whaha.
i had so many weird things going on in my head la..popping from one dream into another..
then i got fed up of dream-hopping...
so i got out of bed and roamed about the house from 2.30-3.30am.
it became boring.
so i went back to bed, prayed for awhile and from 3.30-to close to 5...i still couldn't sleep.
darn crap la. like in 45 mins my alarm was gna buzz and i was wide awake?!??!?
eventually i think i fell asleep but..... woke up at 545am cos of the stupid alarm!
shut it off and slept till 645am. and that was it. LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha. interesting morning man.
dream-hopping is fun. u should try it some time.

2008-05-01T18:05:00.002+08:00

ARGH.

sometimes ( but this sometimes..is soon turning into often times)
i really wonder why i talk to you so much
and why i tell u so many things.
when all you ever is do make me feel stupid and immature.

and sometimes drama serials do speak the truth.
like how when women crack a joke without laughing, others always think it's something serious.
puh-lease.

great.

and the times when i really need help....are often the times you're most insensitive.
hais.

is the problem me?

u know this isn't even meant to be a complaint-post.
and maybe it is a good thing this place is semi-private.
raahs.
the stuffy nose and sore throat just make me even more grouchier.

stalkers be gone.
!@#$#%69494whrskbnsfobjnoh#%!^%

2008-04-28T00:45:00.003+08:00

SURRENDERED.

what can i say?

what can i do?

but to offer my life o God

completely to You.

distractions be gone.

worry be gone.

unrest be gone.

Jesus

i'm leaning over.

2008-04-22T20:19:00.003+08:00

a father would do this for his son.

what more would God our Father do for us?

and what are we doing for Him?

2008-04-21T18:40:00.003+08:00

(4.5 formally-unformal shot...missing a few + one extra)

i look spas. o.O as usual.

YAY. 4point5! LOL.

2008-04-18T00:41:00.009+08:00

CALLISTO!!....ZAI BO?!..... ZAI AH!!

haha i'm in a i-rule-cos-my-house-won-kind-of-mood right now. LOL.

***
thurs...was supposed to be a go-home-chiong-lit-and-econs-kind-of-day.
but things went wrong...for a good cause.
haha.

met amanda for dinch at swensens' to satisfy her cravings.

..swensens'.....again! ha.

in went the mega-burger for her. and out came the burps.

i dun believe i drank coke.....again.
i'm like killing myself slowly...raahs.

still managed to reach home early (:

guess wad nonsensical thing i did that night.....darn dumb la.
was running away from my dad who was holding an insect or smthing...

and i crashed into a wall...so much for running in the dark.

i totally blacked out for like 4 seconds. then came back to normal.

but my head was like throbbing. argh.

then came the swelling.

iced it...fell asleep doing that though..haha. as usual.

but the swell was still there this morning in school.

persistent headache throughout the day.

and the worst part of it all...i can't even raise my eyebrows..it's that painful. darn.
so hard to even copy stuff from the whiteboard...must lift up my entire head..and not just shift my eyes..cos i really can't..

ANYWAY...

school was still alright..haha. i survived without dying.duh.

ended sch at 12. initial plan was to go out to eat lunch and come back in time for sports day..

but guess wad...i'm in eMJay. and the school is majorly weird.

they locked ALL the gates so that no one could go out....

so that everyone is forced to attend the silly sports day.

even those who got valid medical appointments couldn't get past those guarding the gates.

wad la!?

ordered mac delivery instead....and the operator was like,"what is meridian jc?"

(o____________o)

dart me.

lol.

but Colloseum turned out to be rather fun la... (:

me.ann.huiling.

huiling.cailing.taralyn.velvarie.me

random extra guy. rahavan.me.
somehow the candid shot looked better. weird.haha

the staircase shot.

i have no idea what this is.

triton.phobos.miranda.CALLISTO.atlas.

this shot is cool. haha.

the sky was really super white when we took it..see the flats at the bottom??

down at the track.

class girls...with some missing ):

edmund.brian.

wahahaha. >.<

overall the day was good.

zzzzzzz all the way till dunno when. haha.

YAY CALLISTO WON!!!

HYEH

2008-04-16T22:44:00.003+08:00

roaring & fleeing

monday was the boring-est day ever seriously.

dad's bday.

patched up with mummy.

told her bout pw...she was like...how in the world?!?!

slept at like 1.30am....radio entertainment kept me awake..

chiong econs.

neck cramp in the morning.

late again. as usual.

slept in canteen..again..

haha..

tueday was like lit overload-day...

got back the essay...was like...woah...sucks.

haha.

got back history..woah..cannot make it!

ended sch early..dinner-ed at carl's jr..haha nice..

went for svc.

kept drifting off the whole while la...

but still managed to catch most bits of what he was trying to say...

was good....seriously... (:

still can't find the super nice car i chanced upon.....2010 one leh....raah...

hah.

and today.

bored during pw again.

this has become my hideout. literally.

nice fan...big bench...no noise...

away from people...

haha. it's like some hollow corner of a row of classrooms...and like no one/ not many ppl know such a place exists..

had council elections..super dumb-waste-of-time-event. argh.

then..went for ics.

stupid cca.

kenna screamed at la.

the teachers thrashed us super teroh-teroh kind.

and she said...i have nth else to say to u all anymore.

she was there scoldin/talking...and i was like sitting there....like dunno wad to do la..

was already tearing..but fighting it la..later she think i'm over-sensitive...

but seriously...i felt so guilty about the way we were all treating her la..

she did so much for her...and we suck.

listening to her was like listening to my mum.

they said the exact same things..which was kind of scary.

maybe it's true that i haven't grown.

darn.

know wad..

i have no idea why i'm typing all this stuff...no point also...

i should be revising for econs test tmr..soccer....haha.

must pass!

2008-04-13T20:01:00.002+08:00

wahahahhaha......... >.<

i'm so liking the whiteness.
tired of all the colours.
heh hyeh.

(:

i've transferred back to the old/new cell >> 4.5.
haha. 4.4 will still be there....as the legendary cell....
only with no one in it la...lol

had anth nice pre-service chat with elejayy.
i realise we can have nice chats...only we never made an effort to..haha
more to come..i hope..hees.. (:

JAMMING.
haha. it was loud. and i felt kind of claustrophobic ...altho i usually am not la...haha
weirdness.
ROJAK! was nice. i've tried better. but it's another craving satisfied. (",)

now on to econs essays....and death note 2. it's a nightmare-inducing show. but somehow it's still nice to watch. the far from ordinary plot intrigues me.

ya right....

shoot me!
as cheesy as it sounds
and as crazy as i think i am
i think i'm falling for mr.X
dang.

2008-04-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

non-local, kind-of-familiar-guy issues

being school-less for a day..is shiok.

sleeping in till 9 and receiveing a wake-up call telling me i got a fat A for PW...is surprisingly delightful.

receiving an sms saying the ___pw group leader got a B...was the best it could possibly get.
my A was super unexpected.

and silly me refused to head down to sch to see results cos i din want to see a D next to my name. imagine a D man.. ): depressing. haha
well yea... seriously by God's grace. THANK YOU LOADS. (:

stuck at home doing nothing productive....
#did housework...
#read like 100plus pages of a novel.
#cleaned my room.
#watched HAIRSPRAY
#conferenced with 5 majorly funny and noisy people.
#ate chocolates.....

haha this is pointless.

ended up abandoning [appleliciouslove4god] for lunch at TM today.
SORRY!
but managed to make up for it with DINNER!@simpang
haha.
she saw this super cute waiter...who looked kind of jap and stuff...
i only agree with the nice hair part...LOL
well anyway...he came over to take our order but we weren't ready.so we shooed him off..
and shooed of like 8 other waiters till we were ready...
and she was sooo hoping the cute guy would come over but he never did.
then she hoped that he would be the one who delivered our rotijohn and fish&chips. but he didn't. )):
and the whole time she whined about him not coming over....and how cute he looked.
it was sooo hilarious. seriously.
as we were finishing...she had this weird revelation: the guy delivers chicken rice to people...and only to those people who sat at a certain area...
and guess wad!?
she made us order chicken rice.

the person who took our order : (looks at empty plates of rotijohn,fish&chip, and 2 empty drink cups) "chicken rice???"
us: "yup. chicken rice.roasted."
person who took our order: (sheepishly grins and walks away thinking we're total gluts)

so in the end..i had to eat the chicken rice. haha
was super full la.

man she's funnny.
and when paying the bill...i was forced to walk past the guy cos she wanted a close up.
LIKE WAAAD????

LOL.

weird people exist in this world.

okay she's so gna kill me for posting this...haha...happy reading girl!
<3

oh and after that went suprmarket to get something..and at the check-out..there was this super super thin girl. seriously. like half my size. it's scary to see anorexic people. plus she was pretty!! wasted. hais.

i'm off to do a bit of the untouched pile of homework.

tmr need to wake up darn early for some silly tamil pre-u sem at yishun jc.
eeeeeeeew.
must bring food and drinks and a good book to stay awake during the seminar.
poor us.

yay for cell tmr!!!!
can't wait.
(:

[[..when i'm weak...You make me strong
when i'm blind, You shine Your light on me
cos i'll never get by..living on my own ability.. ]] (:

2008-04-10T16:36:00.002+08:00

song stuck in my head.

when i was just a little girl
i asked my mummy
what will i be?

will i be pretty?
will i be sweet?
here's what she said to me.

que sarah sarah
whatever will be, will be
the future's not ours to see
que sarah sarah
what will be, will be.
-------------------------- that's the original version.

it's just that now..the last stanza is drastically changed to fit today.

que (insert name) (insert name)
what u want to be, will not be
the future is yours u see
que (insert name) (insert name)
get straight As, for me.

HAHA.
i'm such a spoiler. i know.
it's not like i've achieved anything in the original version either.
what, be pretty and sweet? haha
pls lor.. long way to go...
the future according to 80% of the ppl i know...is well determined by yourself.
so great yea..haha

i'm like in this weird hyper and dying-for-chocolate kind of mood now.
cos i've got piles of hw.
can't go for movie marathon in sch later.
can't even go watch movie with roz and val later..darn.
but at least i'm at home. slacking. while they're having chinese in sch now haha.
plus NO SCHOOL TMR!
i so need to maximise tmr to go out.

YAY FOR THE WEEKEND! :D

2008-04-09T18:18:00.001+08:00

hais,

AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS

GONNA BE A NEW YEAR ALTOGETHER.

wad was i thinking.

2008-04-06T23:10:00.002+08:00

pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. -------------------

this week has been rather i-don't-know-wad-to-call-it.
is it me or am i just getting pissed off with ppl so many times this past week.
tuesday was__
wed was __ ! (this was too much seriously. 5 others felt it too.)
fri sat sun was the same person.
argh.
i think there's a problem with me.

conducted inteviews on wed.
wasn't super fun or anything.
just that it was nice to watch ppl get interrogated 1m away from you.
okay i'm mean. let's face it.

sometimes i wonder if i'm 17++ or 10.
seriously.
do this! why? cos i say so.
as if i'm bothered by wad u say. hw comes before housework..anyday.
i'm told how to comb my hair...wear a hairband...wear my shoes..tie my laces..what to wear..what not to wear...how to arrange my room...etc.
be home by six. WOW.

i blew it today la.
really got me mad.
ruling me like some power-hungry person.
so much for new year more change.
it's new year..no change..back to old school actually.
drats. it bites.

so much pessimism.
so much for gaining wisdom.
and so much for being in a position of leadership
so much for being in a place of influence.

i can't even fight myself.

and then you came along....burst my bubble and walked away like nothing happened.
and i lost another one.
questioning traditional emofication?

i don't emo.
although i have loads to be emo about.
haha.
i go for runs.
fill my sketchbooks.
blast music.
sleep.
guitar.
violin.
chocolate.
pray.
read and read.
do math.

divert the negative energy into something useful.
not always effective. but it's worth trying.

God be my solution.

oh! i got a new cam! (:

pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me. pls dun let it be me.

raaaawwwr!

2008-04-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

pssst,

so what's the point in wanting me to be honest?

tsk.

2008-03-31T23:21:00.003+08:00

so it is.

had a nice chat with eljay ytd.
seriously took the load off me.
but kind of got me confused a little after that.
realised i never really considered alot of circumstances before diving in to what i want.

i don't think it's gna be easy getting over this tho.

argh. why do i never learn.
or do i just take too long to learn.

____ _____. two words i dread having created in me now.
why can't it be easy.
why must it be full of lines and neon signs...
it's making me overly conscious.
ARGH.

sometimes i wish when i want to forget smthing...i am able to, the very next instant.
then again..it's only a wish.

it used to be i ___ more than a duck can swim.
now it's i ____ no more.
and i thought it'd work out.
silly me!

argh. when will i learn.

2008-03-28T17:26:00.002+08:00

IT'S FRIDAY
IT'S FRIDAYY.
IT'S FRIIDAAYYY!!!!!!
i actually got through today.
amazing.
got off to a bad start though.
din finish history tutorials cos i missed the 2 lectures of the week...
so i din know how to do the worksheet la!dang.
but somehow in sch i managed to complete it in half an hour...i think it's the EMJAY atmosphere.
and thank goodness i was spared from the ultimate embarrassment in class today.
vermay is confusingly nice...but i still don't like her. hyeh.
so yea...i woke up late today.
well ann woke me up. which is not good.
cabbed to sch. wallet-burn.
ayyy...i think i cabbed too many times the past week itself.
stupid cab fares. WAH! and the cab driver this morning...argh...alr this morning woke up late...and super frantic...and he made wrong turns on the expressway!! and got me all irritated at7plus am....
saddd..forfeited cheerleading trial cos i din bring a shirt and din manage to borrow either........... ):
okay so that's for a bad morning only.

had a great wednesday though.
went out and subwayyed at the beach with mandy.
super unexpected but we had a nice chat at bbq pit 17.
and ohh!! haha...super funny...was it like mating season all of a sudden or what man...
we saw 2 white birds that kept crossing each others flight paths and kept somersaulting in the air and doing other weird stuff...
then there were 2 funny crows on some palm tree...
what they were doing looked super wrong...haha which probably gave us the wrong idea la!
so yea...came home around 9. did abit or work..and totally zonked out.

i think i've acquired a new habit this year : to fall asleep without turning of my lights chargers radio comp and stuff...and wake up around 2 plus 3 am to turn them all off...HAHA.

i don't even know why i'm excited that it's friday. not like i've got free time on weekends anyway.
there's cell tmr. which happens to end early..no point also..cos i gta be back home to do nothing.
then sun services.
reach home at 6plus plus plus. read up abit eat then sleep. LOL.
i've got so much time u see.

hais.
sometimes i wonder wad's gna happen to me.
or at least what's going on around me la...
argh.
thank goodness i have people like timberland and looqueen and frenchlady who willingly hear me out. thank u all! LOL

darn the homework for the weekend.
SSPOOIILEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_________

MAYBE it's because i'm tired and cranky everyday, that i go to school with the feeling that everyone around me hates me. or maybe it's something else.
maybe it's not my feeling. maybe it's true.

OHHS.

2008-03-22T10:50:00.002+08:00

buzzing.

"..even though u can't hear or see them at all,
a person's a person, no matter how small." - Horton, Dr. Seuss' Horton hears a Who.

okay..so it's a kid's dr.seuss movie...and yes..i don't usually watch those cartoon/animated movies. but my sis insisted so i gave in. and in the end even tho she didn't watch it with me..i enjoyed it. surprisingly.
i learnt alot actually.

what moved me was the way Horton stood up for something he belived in. it was the most absurd and ridiculous thing anyone could think of...but he kept his faith. and despite the mockery and difficulties he had to fight through, he remained faithful till the end. reminds u of something? i mean, the fella couldn't even see the person living in the speck! and then it hit me. this would probably be like super lame or whatever to other ppl but seriously, the people we meet everyday, the friends we have, we can see them, hear them but if something were to jeopardize them, would we stand up for them; do anything beyond the norm?
and something else the movie explicitly presents - trust works both ways.

...one-way friendships wear me out...

i think society has misused/overrated the term: friend.

oh i watched Suburban Girl too.
it's about the life of this associate-editor...
and it was filmed really nicely...
okay the plot was predictable.
and the style was good too..
haha. emphasised on a good dad-daughter r/s.
and how the best things don't always end up as the best choices to make.(sounds weird..but ohwells..)
minus all the side-track issues and stuff...and u get a good show.

i should get down to work. lol.
due dates: monday. monday. MONDAY!

2008-03-18T23:12:00.002+08:00

another teeyewsdaay.

it's surprising how everytime (more accurately defined as 3 out of 5 times) whatever i ponder about..or like stuff related to decisions i make during the week..gets preached at the pulpit on sunday.

it's really freaky in a sense la.

cos like i came across this movie online called The Omega Code...about the end times and how it's gna be..like the super modern version la.. and my goodness!
i was: 1. FREAKED OUT. i couldn't sleep till like 4 in the morning.
2. convicted. like..what have i been doing man!?
i think if all that happened in the movie happened today...i'd be a gonner. i would've failed the first round itself..what more the years to come...notgoodnotgood...!!!
oh and dun watch omega code 2.....seriously.

and i was really working back days, weeks and years of my walk with Jesus.
have i taken for granted many things?
have i made sacrifices for the things of God?
that night was like a super...get-it-right-this-time-around-kind-of-decision night.

and like woah. these questions get screamed back at me on sunday.
haha. sorry. can't get over it.

ohyea.
God seriously answers prayers fast. i'm always amazed.
less than 12hours and i get my answer. AHHH!

march holls...was honestly a disappointment.
they asked me to plan.
i planned.
the plan was executed.day1..day2.
day3 and they told me to scrap the plan and stay home.
who gets grounded on a holiday?!?!?! dang.
wasn't productive staying at home tho.
1. slacked
2. got depressed over poems.(WHAT'S WRONG with sylvia plath for gdness sake!?!?)argh.
3. designed my new pair of sch shoes!
4. watched 3movies.
5. did math!
6. did history read-ups! (YAY me!!)
7. cleared my cupboard. but somehow it's still messy. heh

i was supposed to go cut hair! EAT! EAT!
and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!
sry for pangseh-ing all u ppl.. ):
dang.
anth week before i'm free from this crrap grounding.

dad got me mad....again.
I'M NOT 12 DADDY! i'm not 12.
u don't even practise what u preach i'm supposed to trust u and come to u for advice and tell u stuff so u can fulfil ur daddy-duties?
sorry.. don't think it works that way.
on that note... i don't trust men/guys...they're all the same anyways.

cell on sat was NIICE!
beach has good atmosphere for worshipping on the account that i had no trouble leading la.
and 2 little kids kept coming to join us whenever we sangs songs or just shared...aah..so adorable!! haha.
too bad i had to leave early..or it would've been better and wouldn't have forced the rest to leave too...and we could've played more bad frisbee and soaked our feet in half hot and half cold sand!
ORANGE KAYA! yumm. haha.

i learnt smthing yesterday. Lit homework's easier accomplished when you're in the super-est emo-est moments in the ulu-est corner of a factory sch aka. EMJAY where no one can ever find you, your papers and the blasting music. i'm loving lit. lol.

FYI. Frankenstein ISN'T a monster. he's the scientist who created the nameless monster.

i'll trust and obey and love you everyday even if i hate my pay or if my best friend's gay, you'll still stay as the one i'll praise all day.

boo.

2008-03-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

..
why is my reflection someone i don't know
must i pretend that i'm someone else for all time
must there be a secret me i'm forced to hide

2008-03-08T14:34:00.003+08:00

sorry, we're out of bread.

perspectives widened.
thoughts reappearing.

i love my subway times this week...haha

thank God for people like [appleliciouslove4god].
for all the unplanned outings and exciting hours we spend.
and for free icecream and cheesy clam chowders.
love u loads girl! my treat next time!

merri we have to go cut hair and shop!

***
trying hard to dismiss
but how can i win
if u keep dragging me in?

***

i wish i could do something to help.
sorry.

[tell me who am. seriously.] O________O

oh by the way.
I GOT B FOR TAMIL!
i know it's not an a.
but i'm still praising God.
(:

2008-03-02T20:18:00.000+08:00

cold cold day
cold weather.
cold heart.

this week had been major interesting.
orientation.
then cca recruitment.
then sch.
it's like my heart kenna bombed so many times this week.
the term's not appropriate i must add...
but it's really how it felt like la.it not always in a negative way....
altho it has a negative conotation to it...
hais.
dunno la.
lit is supposed to help me in expressing myself in words..
but it's so hard..
maybe it's cos i'm refusing to try at this juncture.
well anyhow..
my class ppl are awesome.
except that it's execeptionally big for an arts class..
TWENTYTWO PEOPLE!
not used to it.
i love the cozy small classroom setting thingy.
like 10-12 ppl.
ideal.
less chance of having internal politics and clique problems and outcast problems and stuff..
at least there's no PROJECT WORK to HAUNT ME!
results out this week....
must get D and above for PW.
not expecting an A or a B.
seriously.
haha.
but tamil must get A.
but B's fine too... haha.
but i want my A!
so much for being anti-tamil/indian.
no one believes my writ lang power.
must show them!
haha.

ytd had combined cell - 2.3 plus 4.4
and as usual i went in late.
cos of darn ics. argh.
reached at 3 plus!
and they alr finished intro and stuff..
so they were explaining some icebreaker thingy...
and i was like...CRAP.
i dunno anyone. LOL. except for like 2 or 3..the rest i din know by face or name also..
haha but i managed not to pasang in the end.
strategy!
like real.

i guess today talking to blank wasn't akward as usual.
somehow it was normal.
WEIRD!
i have never talked more than 2 sentences at one go in person.
ohwells.
there's always a first to everything.
somehow i liked it the way it was before.
RAHS.
haha.
but she's nice la.

COLD.
it was a cold day today.

[can't. or more like refusing to get it out.] dang.

2008-02-25T22:57:00.003+08:00

break.the.wall.

i can officially cancel off 2 ppl from my hear-me-out list.

left with 4.

okay, on the bright side..at least i've still got my 4!

i feel like plastic.

as in seriously.

useful.

but taken advantage of.

non-recyclable.

synthetic.

fake.(is it the same?)

mould-able with abit of temperature.

disposable.

okay. note that this only happens in a certain context in my life.

don't overgeneralise.

some ppl are just intolerable.

so much that i'm caught complaining about her everyday.

and it has become my conversational topic.

and my source of hairloss. LOL

and the funniest thing is that when u pray for yourself to be more gracious and patient to accept these ppl.....u keep bumping into them more often than before in your daily agenda.

and for me it has come to a point of no escape.

it's like as if God placed her right smack in front of me and said:

"there! she's here. deal with ur problem! u can't run now."

to a certain extent it'd annoy u.

but it's the only way out..well in my case, that is.

apart from allll of that...

orientation was surprisingly fun!

i don't believe i ran around screaming dripping wet with flour-covered hair.

brought back memories of audacious camp game where i dumped the whole tub of batter on myself..HAHA.

good times. good times.

too bad can't go for the so-called amazing race tmr.

got work to do. hais.

at least there's rest time!

sherni talks too much. she should shut up. how far do u agree.?

HAHA!

2008-02-21T12:02:00.018+08:00

oh the drama.

i failed.
i failed.
i failed.
i'm sorry.
one last chance?

what was i thinking man!
i just sat there like an imbecile.
argh.
why do i always not do what i can and want to?
i have the perfect plans all laid out nicely in my head.....but they never or hardly get executed.
which is silly cos....argh...they would've worked for sure.
what is wrong with me?

and after what happened during the mtg ytd......
it is settled.
i'm leaving.
for good.
no joke.
seriously.
for good.

i think i've done enough for one year.

anw..why's it always me?
to sacrifice this and that...
to be honest...
to be the peacemaker..
to be the one crossing sleep off my schedule..
to be running around like it's my show altogether..

it's not even my job!
and why do i do the things i do
someone throw me a bomb.

for those i burst out at..sorries..but i hope u understood why la..
it's for the good of ______________
i can't be giving in all the time.

an open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.
i dunno if it fits here..but oh wells.
help me out. i can't do it alone.

thanks girl. i loved it.

2008-02-17T23:19:00.003+08:00

perked.

this week was disastrous.
well at least that was how it started off la.

silly camp on wed.
mon did s.k. work.
slept at 330.
tues did s.k. work.
slept at 3.
wed. half dead in sch. x_______x

forget how the camp went man.
more like focus on the debrief.
WASTE OF TIME.
sat there.
was like suan-ing session for (the evil woman who's name i dread to even type).
i think basic courtesy is to give credit to ppl who actually deserve it.
i'm not talking about myself here kay....as in other ppl..
heh...i can survive well without her crediting...which is mostly entangled in sarcasm anyway.
rawr.

and she posed a very wrong rhetorical qn :

Which area do u think u've grown most in terms of character from ur time in ics and why?

myANS: patience. cos i've got ppl like u to tolerate.

if not for that voice in me that asked me to shutup and remain seated, i would've stood up and screamed at her.

really.
for all the mess and confusion she causes...we get disorientated..confused...we try and find the solution on our own..succeed at it...and then later get scolded again for not doing it right the first time around.
like hello?!?! u messed our plan up! argh.

and for the first time...i realised how scared i was of balloon-popping.
i was traumatised for a couple of hours.
any loud noises sent me running.
and any tiny thing got me highly agitated.
(sorry to whoever i screamed at and threw things at that day ): ......)

it was weird la.
i'm guessing it was due to emotional instability since the start of the day.
it's the only logical conclusion i can come up with.
but haha...it sounds terribly ridiculous.

but there was one thing that made me happy that day...
some kid accidentally crashed into me..
and he just suddenly asked me..who did the drawings on the walls?
i said we all kind of chipped in to help.
he said he liked it alot.
i guess that's enough to warm ur heart, right?

moving on to thurs.
luyi's bdae.
vday.
normal procedures la huh?
din expect to stay in sch till 8.
unplanned.
din get to fulfil the ice cream craving tho.
haha.
thanks for being nice.
good timing.

fri was weird.
major weird.
as in convos that went on, on fri..were weird..out of the ordinary..whacked.
anw. the guys got 1st place for the competition.
darn the sch that copied our idea wholesale. but whatever la.
ended at indian timing once again...late.
went down ps for subway.
i'm beginning to like subway.
haha.
reached home at 1210.
coolness.

slept for 10hours.
shiokness.
did nth the whole day.

sunday services were great.
as in both first and third.

i don't think it was out of line..that i dreamt of floods twice within the week..
in addition to the 2 floods that came up in my house itself.
it was like the whole family mobilised.
and man, my 2nd dream was spastic.
i was out with a bunch of ppl..friends la..but can't rmb which grp of friends..
waves were climbing 3-4 storeys high.. it was madness..
and i was going canoeing.
it's ridiculous!
i was standing at the edge of the walking plank that led out to the sea..
telling the rest..they were bonkers in going canoeing.
but somehow or other..someone threw me into a canoe..and i was in the stupid sea.
bobbing crazily.
capsized.
and i woke up before i drowned.

it was scary.
and real.
and scary.

and when pst yang talked about floods i was like..woah..right...interesting.
haha
and third service...bout the forgiveness thing..
i guess it was smthing i needed after this week's happenings.
get things right again.

and now i check the time and i realised i've been bloging this post for the past 1hour now.
sloooow.
off to meet Jesus and sleeeeeeep.

PE tmr.
yes. can lose fat.
HAHA.
dun kill me for saying that. (you know who u are).

'the person to beat is not in front, but inside.' -some marathon slogan

2008-02-10T19:47:00.001+08:00

Myweek.
Wed had cny celebrations in sch.
Quite lame la.
Surprisingly ics dance got good response.
Shocking!
Anw..then the silly alumni came down…talk some rubbish
Intro themselves to us..also no point la..
Supposed to do painting in sch.
Sch closed at ONE.
Argh.
So went subway. But they ran out of bread.

like which shop doesn't have bread but still opens their shop???!!
Went bk. Kind of sick of it alr.

then went beach with my sis. nice man!

Thurs met up to paint again.
At subashini’s house.
I’m super smart la.
Din ensure I had enough marjong(tt’s how popular spells it) paper.

like which shops opens on CNY right? wad was i expecting man!
So we only painted 3/5 of the ginomous palace.
From like 3 to 9. then had dinner as some kopitiam.
and lemme tell u...dinner at a kopitiam at 9pm on CNY was major weird..

ppl are drunk at every other table..

1. the smell

2. the behaviour.

REPULSIVE.

Reached home at 11. (thank u guys for walking me to the bus stop. seriously appreciate it.)
I hate walking alone at night. it's scary. u have no idea what/who lurks out there.

why did cab fares have to increase?!

Fri cleaned my room. It’s super super clean and nice now.
Haha even my parents are shocked. (:
Then had family come over at night.
Sian. Only one 5-yr-old. The rest all old ppl.
Played monopoly. Bankrupt-ed my uncles.
Once they left. Clean up till 12. slept at 2.30.argh.

Sat. thought I could sleep in. but had hw to do.
Then met up the ics ppl again to paint. From like 3 to 8.

ics helps me waste my life..without me even asking.
Basically I spent my cny hols messing around with paint and paper under void decks.
how glamorous.

And today’s Sunday.
Supposed to go for first svc. Overslept!
So did more hw.
Met for lunch at 1130. macs. i'm gna burst with fats soon.
Went for third svc instead. lollipops transformed into powerpops!

And now I’m darn bored.
Ending off here. -

Definition of beauty - ratio 2:1
Ask me why. HAA

2008-02-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

blended.
daddy here i am.
here i am again.

i feel like a little girl
trying to conquer the world.

take a look at the ordinary
don't need to look for paradise

would fireworks fly
would angels sing with lollipops
would dinosaurs cry
would babies all gurgle
in laughter and surprise??

daddy here i am.
here i am again.

could we do more than hi.

2008-02-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

onemanband.boo

danging donuts.
sch.mtg.rain.party.rain.home.
a day messed up.
messed up.
just walk away.
when i'm all alone
and as blue as can be
i call for dark chocolates.

craving calls.

2008-01-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

revelations...not.

saturday left me too tired to wake up for 1st service today.

i seriously honestly didn't feel like going for cell on sat..cos i was so tired from sch mtgs and all...plus it was so late alr...

but i realised it's those days u really don't want to go..that God moves most.

and it was a good thing i went. although i was truly and noticeably half dead.

to be more specific..terribly dehydrated la.

church today.

normal i guess.

somehow i know i couldn't focus.

i was just bothered by a few things.

at least i had a destresser to look forward to...

met a few cedar ppl for dinch...

not much time together tho..about 3 plus hours..

but it was great while it lasted.

we should do it more!

but too bad ranj has to leave soon... ):

after trying to work the self-timer and trying to take the perfect shot.... we got down to this..and yet we all still look kind of spas. HAH. joyce.ranj.xuan.me (:

2008-01-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

no money no longan honey

my new love: toasted bread with wildflower/longan honey... mmmm...

okay this is bad.i'm getting hungry alr..and it's like 1.17am.

i am such a pig!

been a pretty interesting week.

school and all.. is like as per nomal..just that i've got thurs and fri off..sweet right?

haha.

well..wed i went to like the beach for dinner...

and thurs went out with a super close friend..

like i've know her since kindergarten...and she's just awesome la...

had a nice late lunch..and we caught a movie.. : 27 dresses.

it's actually a typical chick flick..which is so not my type..but i enjoyed the movie (excluding the mushy bits)....somehow..at least it shows that some people actually do take marriage seriously..unlike the vast majority...dunno la...i liked the part where the 2 sisters patch up..it's so super nice..

i mean so often..we have our own conclusions of people already edged into our minds..but little do we know that we've actually got it all wrong....that people are really not what they appear to be..and there's so much more we've yet to discover of them..so ya..take time to really get to know anyone before passing your judgements..it's worth the effort. (:

and another thing. i mean..generally....(if you don't think it's true then forget it)..

you aren't close to someone just cos you do alot of things together.

and you can't say u're close to someone cos u talk alot and share lots of stuff with them.

i seriously think it just goes beyond talking and hanging out together.

it's true..that's the way u build up the friendship..but it doesn't hold the friendship together.

perhaps i'm really in no position to comment on such things... but ohwells..

it irks me when people misuse the terms best friend..close friend..friend..aquaintance.

do realise they're different. categorise people appropriately and maybe we wouldn't get hurt as often as when we don't.

and also... personally, i don't think just cos u're someone's best friend..u can totally run the person's life for them...they need space too..seriously..

but anyhow..these are just what i feel...don't get me wrong.. (:

tmr will be one free day...

all e best to the competition ppl!

no pressure.
seriously.

then there's cell.

and there's sunday!

nice.

____

"i paid 3 grands for that dress....i have the right to wear it anywhere i want."

2008-01-20T23:46:00.000+08:00

one thing i desire

had an excellent week!

can't exactly explain la.

fri had sch.

had silly councelling session...like i'm some sch rebel or smthing..LOL

then crashed guitar session...haha.

afterwhich rushed down to singpost for dinner.

IGNITE 08.

supercrowded.

and the lift is super scary.

haha..well..i have a phobia of lifts.

especially the glass kind..where u can see everything.

dunno how i survive in s'pore la..where everything is high-rised..

haha.

well ya...plus the lift was so packed and it was so high...i stood there huggin my bag and myself.

i was so terrified...i think it was like spelt out all over my face cos of ppl's reactions..HAHA..

what a joke.

it wasn't so bad when i came down...cos it was dark. haha. and couldn't really see anything.

but anyways...

sat had service at church.

and had sleepover that night..

cabbed down for 1st service...we were early! (:

then went singpost for lunch and transformed into aunty-fied singaporeans.

started queueing so super early..and all the rushing...it's just not me....eeks.

and like we left just before the whole session ended so we din get caught in the human jam later...

kiasu la!

i seriously felt so singaporean. HAHA.

but apart from all that nonsense...

i was convicted of a few things throughout the weekend.

and i seriously don't wish to continue in that state any longer..

i was thinking bout secondary sch days in cedar and all...

i mean....it was quite a discouraging time back then..cos like being the only gener and all..

i worked with tabjoy ppl..and a few heartofGod ppl also...we saw fruits of our labour...

but cos most of the student population resided in the northeast and central area...their churches were the ones getting the people....and i was like...wad?!..LOL. that was then la.

i know for sure i didn't waste my time there...but of course i could have done more too..

so like all those rj and acj ppl at ignite...some were from my batch in cedar..haha..yea

now in emjay...i don't think i wna do things the same way...cos God has other plans! haha they sound exciting...hehe i''m so gna pull gloriebee into this..she better join in man!

there was smthing different bout the meeting...i learnt.

well..heres to end off...

__________________

Help me Lord this is what I ask

that you will help me with my task

Help me Lord to show the world exactly where I stand,

and that I am going follow your every command.

Help me Lord to show the world in everything I do,

I'm living my life for only you.

Help me Lord to show the world love.

The very love I received from above.

Help me Lord to show the world that you have come to save,

and that your blood you freely gave.

Help me Lord to show the world that the broken heart you can mend,

and that you're the meaning of a true friend.

Help me Lord to show the world that you love us,

no matter how much we complain or fuss.

Help me Lord to show the world that you're here in this very place,

and that they can see you when they look in my face.

Help me Lord to show the world that you're my only desire,

and you alone I'll forever admire.

Help me Lord to tell the world that no matter what they do,

your love and mercy is always there to pull us through.

Help me Lord to tell the world that you hung on a tree,

just so we all could someday be set free.

Help me Lord to tell the world that you went through so much pain,

just so our love you may someday gain.

Help me Lord to tell the world that you care,

and that no matter what you'll always be there.

Help me Lord to tell the world about the promise land,

and that you're always willing to lend a helping hand.

Help me Lord to tell the world to daily pick up their cross,

and to be a light shinning for the lost.

Help me Lord to tell the world that you're our only hope,

and just maybe that'll help some kid turn away from dope.

Help me Lord to tell the world that when we're in trouble,

you and your angels are there on the double.

Help me Lord this is what I ask,

that you will help with my task.

Leanne Simpson

_____________________

woah oh oh o.

2008-01-15T22:54:00.000+08:00

freaky monkey

I am √-1 (square root of negative 1).
I bet u never knew that.

Ever tried to exercise patience and felt like a total fool??
Or tried to stay awake during monotonous eecawns lectures without hitting ur head at the back of the chair?
Perhaps u’ve tried doing binomial theorem with sticky candy-melted fingers, using a pen that looks pretty but has mood swings?
Or maybe tried to write a detailed reflection speech about an activity u conducted like 7 months ago..assuming u didn’t have a good memory?
Have u ever had the privilege of dealing with people who love u so much that they unknowingly paralyse u with love-torture?

My wonderful day in short.

School’s awesome.
Puts u in weird spots.
Teaches u to shove those in ur way.
Helps u achieve much dissatisfaction.

Apart from the fuss…

SHE’S BACK SHE’S BACK
SHE’S BACK SHE’S BACK
SHE’S BACK SHE’S BACK!!!!
I finally get to see her after SO long!!
Plus s*tar’s party’s cmg up!!!
And so is IGNITED. (:

The book riten by the retarded people is reeli fun to reed becaws their English is unik and yet veri expresif. I still have a hundred pajes befor I finish the whole book..it’s trajic how the story ends with the retarded man becoming smart..but then dies dew to faylure and complicasions in siense and tecnolojy. This shows that you cannot trust man and his ways but trust God in everything!

I am.

2008-01-12T10:37:00.001+08:00

-
i think i must really really miss home-cooked food.
i don't believe i forgo-ed lunching out with wonderful ppl ytd...for grandma's fried rice.
LOL.
haha. it's amazing how i reached home at 1150am from sch ytd.hahah.yeah.
so i stayed and rested till night mtg last night.
and honestly..i was totally lost. i had no idea what she was talking about. or at least what was going on. it just felt weird. like kind of out of place.
maybe it's cos i didn't like pray and prepare myself before coming...and like it was tougher to get into the flow...or maybe it's cos i was tired...
so i decided to just forget about not understanding whatever she was talking about and just get in with God...
and like i have no idea how long i did that but like along the way i found myself staring into a pair of eyes. and at that moment i had no doubt who's they were. it's like..u just know for sure.
they just make ur heart melt...and that assurance and security returns. okay this is just hard to express. lol.

was chatting with a friend in sch..and she was telling me how old people know when they're about to die.and how her grandma waited till her family was in a stable condition and then passed on. and that totally freaked me out.
someone please explain all of that to me..the whys and hows..i'm new at this..

arggh. i'm feeling kind of sick at this moment. it's the system-shutting-down feeling. lol.
probably due to the lack of sleep within the week.
i'ts crazy how i just want to be in a horizontal position throughout the day. haha.
cell later at william's.
and mtg again tonight.
i don't want to be lost again.

donuts.
i said hi and asked a silly qn.

2008-01-10T18:02:00.000+08:00

inkless pens
my pencilcase is so totally full of them.
i only have currently one working pen
cos i lost all the new nice ones while lending them to ppl
haha.
and it's like sometimes u want to say or write some things..but when you actually get down to doing it..it's like your muse has deserted you.
i must certainly not keep this up. it's not working.
**
serious champagne chocolate craving now.
**
anyways...one thing i've learnt (and help others to learn too) from school this week:
the truth will set u free!
i mean so many times we hear it in church and it gets set in our hearts.
apart from like bible truth and all...i think often times people (or maybe it's just in my circle of friends or smthing)...find it so choking to say exactly what's on their mind.
and i know for sure i managed to overcome that recently...
we try expressing things but there's still some hidden content.
perhaps it's fear of being confronted or rejected or somewhere along that line...
(okay this is getting weird cos i don't usually blog these stuff)
anyhow...i managed to prove some people totally wrong this week.
it was hard to say it all in one go..but as i progressed...and definitely asked the Holy Spirit to help me say it all out using the right words....the meeting/conversation ended pretty smoothly and i certainly felt better...and well..yes...disbelief was pretty much written all over their faces. that was of course a much expected response to whatever i said.
well truly enough...it was all well received and no one got upset or anything..and they too realised that if they had said things like this much earlier before..more things would've been done differently and none of us would've needed to suffer in silence for such a long time!
and silly me thought all along i was the only one who was feeling that way..hahah.
now we know.
dun be a moron and take up space on earth and suffer in our own little miserable corner when nothing explosive will take place if you'd just open your mouth. but of course..add grace to your words as well. (:
**
off to satisfy the champange chocolate craving....
**
i love the weekend-feeling. haha.
(:
(:
whoopdeloop.

2008-01-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

1dollar..2dollars...and more.

i'm glad to say that i'm enjoying sch.
5breaks in a day is great.
but i catch myself stoning too often. HAHA
haven't really got attached to class yet...actually i'm confused on who's even my classmate.
it was after attending the most unlikely series of lectures that i seriously got a clearer picture of where my interests lie...and what kind of a person i am.
i realised i was never wrong about how i perceived myself..but possibly went wrong in the way i tried to express who i really was/am.
so now that i know...got to either shutup or sieve out alot of things..cos i realise that alot of times ppl just dun care bout the stuff u say..no matter how serious,true or wacky it is.
irritating proposals still bug me after a 2mth break...but ohwells..managed to give someone a piece of my mind. hopefully things work out better after this.
and veepees are irritating people. RAAHSS.
not looking forward to rigorous mugging...but i guess i dun have a choice really..
just be who i am...do things with excellence..and impact people? lol.
peacock feathers.
peacock feathers.
peacock feathers.
drats.
dun like.
dun like.
dun like.
it's like i see ehhhs.. drives me nuts.
if only it'll close down.
or at least kick me out so i can join smthing more productive.
my energy is being thoroughly wasted on stuff i'm so not passionate about.
but whatever.
try and make a difference wherever i am.
but it's hard.
God be with me. seriously.

2008-01-03T14:26:00.000+08:00

OD1..no D2 no D3. oleh!
that kind of explains my hyper mood right now.
so like sch officially began yesterday.
and like that was the start of orientation.
and i was like...no..not another one..2's enough alr.
but i still went anyways.

was pretty alright.
i mean..the hype was there.
seriously...i have never seen emjay ppl so enthu and crazy before.
met my class.
had fun with them.
the atmosphere was so super different. and that's a good thing btw.
i finally understood the convenience of having short straight hair.
(: ooh ah..feels good. LOL
but it kind of got wet yesterday cos i walked under this thingy that didn't hold water properly..and this water droplet landed on my head and i started freaking out...haha..but even though my hair kind of got bent..it didn't look too bad..
and no. i do not have an obsession with my hair. pbhht. Xp

so now i'm like enjoying every moment spent at home..while everyone else is at sch.
yay. long weekend. return on monday! (:

okay this is a must-say kind of thing:
was at mandy's house for new year...and she opened some present or something..

sherni: hey that looks nice...
mandy: yea i like it cos the colours very vibrating.

2007-12-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

the day before the new year.

is honestly not the only day i take to reflect about the year.
and seriously i don't really fancy sharing my reflections.
and u should know by now..that i'm not the kind who sets new year resolutions.

on the whole...this year has been great.
it definitely had loads and loads of trying seasons.
but hey, i learnt alot.
and God has always remained faithful. (:

one thing for sure..my family has grown much closer.
i still can't decide if that's good or not..but ohwells..we'll see next year.
we're like doing this book thing together..it's called 'talk less, listen more'.
and my goodness..when we ran through the first chapter itself..we started screaming at each other..lol.it was hilarious..we have another 10 or so chapters to go..and i'm pretty sure it'll work out well. (:

my apologies to the makan kaki and hanwei for not sticking to our lunch/dinner plans.
3 is way too few.

excited about the cell.
and all the wonderful new and not-so-new people.

the mood for school has yet to set in.
2 more days.

dunwandunwandunwandunwandunwanschoool... ):

rah. this blogging thing makes me think so much..
and i'm still on sleep mode.
not helping.

anyways.

all set (i think) with great expectations for the new year. talk less. listen more.
cheerios.
(:

2007-12-25T15:35:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

hellos and i'm back from neighbourland.
and it didn't even rain a single time over there.
had a really refreshing time with my family.
and i've finally learnt how to read maps accurately. (:

anyhows.

was sick throughout my entire time there.
so i spent most of the time sleeping in the hotel and like got up when it was mealtimes or when we wanted to go sight-seeing or smthing.
but seriously..there's nothing much to see around there.
picked up loads of tiny pretty seashells... (:
and tried to take nice pics.
drowsy medicines aren't much fun when travelling.
so in the first hotel we stayed in...food was good. but i didn't really find the service fantastic.
i mean u pay so much..and they give crappy services..tsk.
haha. so we like kinda drove around the area to get better restaurant deals and stuff...
and we ended up going to an ostrich farm. LOL
weird. but i think the way ostriches eat is really scary.
it's like they could peck ur head off ur neck....okay maybe not to that extreme...ohwells.
chased rabbits and carried crocodilians. (: fun while it lasted.

at the second hotel...from the outside i thought it was like back-packers hotel or smthing.
but inside it was like woah.
it's actually a boutique hotel.
whatever that means.
but like hello...NO LIFT.
and our room was on the top floor.
crimateys.
so everyday we just went shopping..and every night we walked in the night markets.
but daddy never let me eat food off the hawker stalls.
but like isn't that the best part of night markets???
raahs. i may be the posh restaurant fine dining type...but smtimes nothing beats hawker food.
and haha..i love the sotong bakar there. as much as i wasn't supposed to eat it cos of my sore throat..i ate alot..secretly that is.. lol.
as of now. i don't think i want to shop anymore.
shopping 2 days in a row...and i almost died.
now u know why i dun like shopping but prefer buying.
well..overall..it was a good rest that the whole entire family deserved.. (:
photos.

TODAY is like christmas day. but it totally doesn't feel like it...plus it's raining.
it has been..so far..pretty much a boring day.
let's see if things change tonight.
i really really hope it will.

I LOVE MY AWESOMELY WONDERFUL GOD (:

2007-12-18T19:58:00.000+08:00

back from camp. off to another.
like what the title suggests,
I'M BACK FROM CAMP.
was really great. seriously.
apart from:
1.extreme lack of sleep and comfort
2.TERRIBLE MUSCLE ACHES
3. NUMEROUS blue-black bruises
4. 7 mosquito stings
5. extra dry hair
6. very very sore and painful throat
7. dotty face
8. arising flu-ish symptoms

all was good. (:

GOD WAS THERE.
and i guess that was all that i was seriously looking forward to..and i got it. haha

although i have never been so disgustingly dirty during games before..and despite the fact i had to donate my nice set of clothes to the ugly dustbin.......seriously super sad about that...
WHY OF ALL THINGS...DOUGH?!?!?

but oh wells...my shoes got soaked in mud. so unless i can get it cleaned..i got no shoes for sch anymore. HAHA. give me reason to shop. oops.

i guess i learnt alot of stuff about myself during this camp...interesting.
lol.
learnt new stuff bout God's plans for certain things next year..hmm... (:

anything else.. dunno la..ask me and i'd probably tell u... certain things just can't be typed out. no fun.

so anyways..will be off to neighbourland tmr? or it is thursday? can't rmb. so won't be around for the weekend. no chance for xmas stuff too (unless there's a xmas service..unlikely i suppose)..sorries.

off to SLEEEP!! need loads of it. seriously. (:

bollywood actress...or is it baldywood actress...LOL

2007-12-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

wedding #2 and the rest

wenli's wedding was a blast (:
apart from the contorted english and many unglam moments.
pictures? none with me.
i realised that dresses are actually quite comfy.
but i got a little worried when i suddenly thought of buying more of them for my closet.
i have never felt quite so girly till sat night.
pumps. berms. beaded butterfly shirt. necklace. butterfly earrings. hair down. hairband. beaded handbag. EEEEw.
i just needed to wear a baggy shirt and sneakers on sunday. (:

was finally early for 1st service on sunday.
and the services were awesome.
u could totally smell the fragrance of the presence of God. (:
and 3rd service worship was where i felt so close to Him.
just standing there.soaking.wow.

went for makan twice aft services.
yeah i know. pig.
had a great time with merri.
haven't spent time with her in ages.

went home..redid my prayer list.
all set to go. (:
onward.

4days to audacious.
15days to christmas.
21 days to new year.
24 days to school.

haven't done so many stuff.
packed my room halfway today. (:
gna start selling my stuffs soon.
hardly touched those ugly tbs and tys.

i so need to schedule to meet:
'the makan kaki'.
'the mummy'.

well anyways.
i guess time away from u has done me good?
haha i think so.
the what is extending. so it looks better.
plus white looks nice on you.
(:

pray pray PRAY! (:

2007-12-05T11:30:00.000+08:00

wedding #1

cousin lin's wedding was fun fUn FUN!
haha
get to see all the pretty people
and eat scrumptious fooooood!
trouble walking in heels.
make-up was weird.
but the whole family gathering thing and playing around with little cousins and niece was something i enjoyed.
i really admire the bride leh...she like so calm and collected and ever-so-cool despite all the nonsense the in-laws are saying/doing and all the busy and sleepless nights...she still ever-so-smiley and pretty!
lol.
privileged to be a reception person there..get to see all the guests and make them do stuff...LOL..and u get special access to bridal suites and rooms and stuff..plus other complimentaries things la....haha...
but i still can't believe she's married now!!!
things alr are beginning to be different.
took loads of nice pics then the cam died on me. mummy din bring charger!!!!
so then took lousy pics with my phone cam which is pathetic....and relied on uncles cam for others..

haha. dun get a shock. i dun look like me.

O O

grandma

sasha

cousin naomi

family pic

the rest of the pics will arrive in feb next year.

photographer went on holiday. lol.

2007-12-03T10:53:00.000+08:00

$$$$
woohoo. it's dec!!!
like finally.

my to-do list is still untouched.
which is bad.

i'm beginning to get irritated with the sms and IM business.
pick up the phone larr.

my week has been kind of weird and good.
had lovely dinners and lunches with my favourite people.
italian. japanese. thai. german. whee.
GELATO!!!

ok.no. i'm getting fat.

raahs. it's not fair. my granny gets to go to china and i don't. i think she travelled to like 4 different countries this year alone. good life man. summore all sponsored.

things at home look pretty good now. there's much much less 'noise' since i haven't been talking to mummy for about slightly more than a week now. she talks too much and it gets on my nerve. cos i think she just wants us to be like her which is a super big NO nO. yer. daddy reasons things out. which is WAY better. thank God for daddies.

this week is wedding week.
just attended a super extended family dinner ytd..to meet my new.. cousin's parents-in-law. they're weird. seriously.
but the little boy is cute. lol.
got wedding rehearsals to attend before the actual one tmr. i'm gna die smiling at ALL the few hundred guests at the dinner. reception duty.
and wah. eat again. sian.
tuesday.tuesday.tuesday.

and then on sat is wenli's wedding.
the problem of choosing what to wear.
raahs.
i think i have a bigger problem : not being able to fit in majority of the sizes available.
):

at least i'm not being forced to get a job. which leaves me alot free-er to do what i want. like catch up on people, sleep, time with God..etc. (:
alrights. off to shop for the day. tiring.

2007-11-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

what?

haven't blogged much lately cos:

1. dun want to look like i'm emo-ing my life away.

2. i'm stuck in the office.

3. nothing really substantial to write about.

well then...

found this pic..from somewhere..
thought it looked nice. why can't i take pictures like that... !!

buuttteerrffllyy.

okay, so there was this one day..i think it was monday...i was dying in the office..so i spent 2 whole hours reading baby blues comics. waste time. but who cares. i'm being entertained.

hopefully it's big enough to read.

but what it says is pretty real. it's like how parents are so paranoid over little stuff. i mean the kid's barely old enough to even know wad rock-climbing is..much less climb a mountain.

reminds me of my own parents. oh wells. nvm.

i had a majorly weird..WEIRD dream last night.

and i certainly think u won't want to know about it. lol.

a big thank you to my alarm that rang to get me out of dreamland.

2007-11-19T16:38:00.000+08:00

):
okay so it's officially been 2 whole weeks since i've gone to church. which is terribly terrible.

1st week was cos of my aunty.

yesterday was cos of me. felt sick the whole day. even at cell on sat. dunno why.

i can't afford to fall sick. it's the HOLs. plus i've got stuff to complete.

and lemme tell u, working( or should i say..child-labouring) under ur mother is no fun at all.

seriously. RAAAHs.

i'm like dying a slow death here in the stinking office.

so i'm at the church building from monday to friday. but not there on a sunday. which is totally pointless. hais. why.

why did she move out.

why did she turn into a business freak.

she cares so much more for those ppl than us at home.

i've no idea who she is anymore.

and i don't understand why she says i'm not independent.

and i don't see why i should be labelled as a useless 17-yr-old who can't do anything properly.

if i do like 10 things..and one of them is like not done properly...the rest totally get ignored. so it's like all my efforts wasted la. might as well screw the other 9 things and get the same amount of lecturing.

and it's like nothing u say ever gets heard. u can tell her the same thing 5 times..and she'll come up to u and scold u for not telling her at all. THAT'S LIKE NOT EVEN MY FAULT.

so many times. the same thing keeps repeating itself. and i feel as if i'm the only one who's tyring to solve the problem. but it won't work unless both parties try. and that's like never gonna happen.

so much for giving me an over-protected life.

i don't think it helped me much.

never given room to make my own decisions.

never given room to do things alone.

how was i supposed to learn?

i guess it is true.

a caged animal. once let loose...will have a hard time.

and even now..my decisions are being overrided in the name of authority.

it's no wonder i'm turning into a suaku(is that how u spell it??)

hais.

i wish everything was how it was last time.

when there was no lack - emotionally, financially etc.

i want to go home. my real one.

2007-11-14T16:59:00.000+08:00

waiting patiently

i wait for the truth of Your Word to pass, Lord.

i wait for help to return.

i wait for the promises to become a reality.

i wait for the wisdom to take shape and to make sense in my life. (:

i wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word i hope.

Psalm 130:5 nsrv

2007-11-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

great.
i seriously cannot believe that mummy made me miss cell to go indian wedding outfit shopping.
that's really nuts. but that's what happened.
left home at 12.30.. came home only at 9. imagine being stuck in that silly place in singapore for 8.5 hours!!!!
and shopping is such a killer.
shop owners annoy me.
either they follow u in the shop picking totally horrible stuff...or they sit around and dun care about u. right. raahs.
so i think i went into like a million shops...
and it's so hard to shop when u alr know in ur mind that there's really nothing that will be of interest to u. i dunno bout u...but oh wells.
after a super long time. managed to buy ONE dunno-wad-u-call-it. cost was reasonable for a designer piece. (: means no one else would ever have the same thing as me.
haha.
so i thought...after that the shoppinh would be over..BUT NO.
craps. saw so many nice ones...but the price was like WOAH. $400...who wan to buy man!
walk walk somemore...walked into some ulu shop...but they had a super nice piece!!!... ah. i wan. but i concluded that tailoring a brand new one would be cheaper. so i did. but daddy was nice and said when we come again to collect my tailored stuff..and i still want it, i could have it. .
but no point also. where to wad occasion??? ee.
haha. then ma fan still must buy accessories. that's like the biggest headache ever. cos i dun like wearing those stuff.
being an indian is a tough job u know. so much for rich culture. nonsense!
and little india is a SCARYY place, to me.

then today...had to miss church...cos my poor aunt got into an accident...
cab drivers. RAAHS.
so stayed with her and my granny. poor traumatized people.
anyway,
in the evening was forced to go down to that weird part of singapore AGAIN.
AND MY GOODNESS...NEVER EVER GO THERE ON A SUNDAY!
actually nv go there at all if possible. LOL
seriously. mass exodus of MEN. it's really nightmarish.
my sis was holding on to me. i held on to mummy. and she held on to daddy.
funny scene. but safe.
irritating people exist leh. they walk on the road like it's their house liddat...cross roads like cows. siao. COWS. drive car also problem. walk right in front of it. wah cannot tahan...from the back seat i pressed the car horn till super loud..HAHA they got scared and siamed. my parents thought i was mad.
i am officially extra extra terrified of indian ppl other than my friends and family (who are considerably few in numbers.) omgosh they stare like wan to kill u liddat. and staring games aren't much fun.
OH. i have thought about, prayed, and consulted many other people..i have come a final decision.
i shall stay in the silly sch called ____ but switch stream..and just slog away till A's. saves me the trouble of choosing wad to do in poly.
hais.
see the silly sch again.
see the silly sch again.
see the silly sch again!!!
tiring weekend.
looking forward to a better week.
will miss those travelling..mandy take care!! i wan kimono too! HAHA.

2007-11-09T21:53:00.000+08:00

randomness

i have so many things running through my head.

btw..cutting paper is therapeutic.

came across this. and it's super niice.

christmas is coming! (:

haha. gna be a budgeted one. LOL

2007-11-08T00:03:00.001+08:00

~
hais.
what to do?
what to do?
what to do?
what to say?
what to say?
what to say?
LOL.
yes?
no?
no?
yes?
WHAT???
RAAHS.
haha.
no. i'm not psycho.
although yes i'm gna take psychology...i think. haha. but so?
still!!!
where's my answer!!!
somebody tell me.
i prayed. long long time ago till now.
hais. yet......i'm still like this!
why can't _____________________________???
hais.
ok nvm. apologies if u have no clue to what i'm saying over here. haha.
u'll know in time to come. once i've convinced myself.
tired of it all.
aren't u?

2007-11-07T00:03:00.000+08:00

~
There was a box.
Inside was something gooey.
It had a weird smell.
Funky.
It started to ooze out of the box.
I say it could reach all the way to the great walls of china.
The lid burst open.
And we all jumped in panic.
Ohh the frenzy!
The goo started to crawl out of the box.
It’s claws were shimmering in the sunlight.
It caught on to someone’s foot.
oh no! poor friend.
It began to dissolve the shoe.
Oh no!
not the shoe!
it was a NIKE!
It slowly disintegrated the foot.
Eew u could see the tick sliding down the throat into the pit of the goo’s stomach.
Eventually the whole fellow was swallowed.
Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend… then there were four. ( eh why the number so suay ah?)
the goo eyed all of us.
We eyed him back.
The staring game continued.
Ni kan wo, wo kan ni. Hao sian oh!
The four of them circled it (cowboy music playing in the background).
They stood around him with their legs wide open and their hands in the pockets as though they were reaching for guns.
They rolled up their sleeves.
KUNGFU FIGHTING! (music plays)
they made their first step forward.
And then they stepped back again.
And then tarzan came and swept the goo off it’s feet bringing it to eternal damnation.
Jane came on an elephant and rescued them all.
And then they lived happily ever after!
______________________________________
haha. lamenest at it's best. the things best friends do. LOL
I LOVE HER! (:

stay happy mandy dear! (:
i've got u and u've got me. we'll survive. HEH.

2007-11-05T19:21:00.000+08:00

SOccER
haha ohman! saturday was like the FIRST time i sat through a whole soccer match with my eyes glued onto the tv screen. seriously. i mean i watch matches but i was never so into them. and satuday's match didn't involve chelsea..that's like the best part. so i was so engrossed in a game where 2 teams i don't support are playing. HAHA. and for some reason i was on Man U's side.

it was like super funny. when rooney scored..i started clapping and running round the hall. like a weirdo. and i forced myself to sit down once i realised my neighbours walked past.HAHA. then when ronaldo scored i jumped off the couch and screamed..together with my neighbour next door. WHAHHAA. right. please do not alter the impression u have of me after reading this crap. i am not usually like this. seriously.

but i have to admit it was an absolutely fantastic match for the fact that i was reluctant to even pour myself a glass of drink in between the game. (:

wOoH! o__O

2007-11-01T21:03:00.000+08:00

END OF PW!!!!!!!

haha that's the most awesomest thing ever!!!

u know they asked a qn to THE PIG today : would u say that u and you group have produced quality work?

and THE PIG answers: YES. because we have good information gathering.

RAAAAAAAHS. WRONG ANSWER HELLO??!

she's supposed to say we put so much effort into planning and visualising how the stupid exhibition is supposed to turn out and that we made great pains to create the 3D models of each individual activity that all who see may understand what our ideas are..she's so full of crap..

the teacher like spent 10 mins asking her like 3 diff qns cos she doesn't answer to the point..she went one whole round and nv answered. loser. boooo.

haha ohwells. too bad. i'm worried my answers were too short. cos she only asked me why i chose this groundbreaker over the others..and what i have personally learnt from the groundbreaker. surprisingly the answer for the first qn was like stuck in my head the whole day today..for some weird reason i had the strangest feeling i was gna get asked that qn. which is like totally cool. but then again..my answer too short..haha. but i guess the examiners were satisfied with a short direct one. LOL.

so then..so much about 3D model activities for exhibition. i'll give u now another run through the exhibition..OP style. LOL.

promoters will wear this shirt and walk around the exhibiton. how cool is that??? that's ariff bongso on the shirt btw..and not lim kim san.!!

this is the preview room before entering the exhibition : video galaxy. got 3 screens - left, right and one on the floor.. then ppl go inside can see floorplan and brief videos la..so once they go inside they not so blurr..haha. see the light bulbs??!! cool right!! haha

this is the stage for the talks that the fellow's gna give..haha..the black guy's the one. then there's a podium...a light bulb again...a projector and screen..haha and frilly stuff to make it look like a stage.

this is like the crappiest billboard i've seen. guess who did it? THE PIG. and she complained to do this. raahs. ok nvm. not important.

this is like THE highlight of the whole exhibition..we took ages to do this up. simulation ride..shaped like a cell. so u go inside climb the ladder...then sit on the red chairs..buckle up then then lid will close..and the movie will play and the whole thing will shake. LOL. that's basically it. haha. i went all the way to bras basar with erhem..tahan the whole way...and spent 10 bucks on the styrafoam ball...and btw..it's the same ball that was in the airport picture previously..haha only not yet completed then la.. (:

my personal favourite. i stayed up doing this all of last night...my 3D HEART playground..it's a mze thing la...so the kids will go thru with clues..do some activity solve puzzle and watch video then find their way out. IT LOOKS LIKE A HEART RIGHT??? haha.. i love this.

tt's all. (:

2007-10-29T20:41:00.000+08:00

yay. no more mt for LIFE.

i can officially proclaim myself as ANTI-tamil.

wooh!

someone teach me chinese!!!

dun try and teach me by speaking in fluent mandarin for 20 whole mins and expect me to understand. cos tt's not teaching!! haha. ohwells. it was fun while it lasted. but DON'T TRY THAT AGAIN! haha.

i want to fix a 1000piece jigsaw in one day.

i want to learn the electric and piano.

i feel like go-karting.

bring me to play paintball.

i want to have an x-box sleepover thingy.

i need to shop (altho i dun fancy it).

i need to fill my sketch book with proper stuff and not lousy doodles.

i need to go running.

i miss after-service 'rituals'.

i want to pass my grade 6!

i miss mr lee.

i miss hanwei. (:

i love amanda..

i love ann.

i wanna go for a chocolate buffet.

excuse me for my rubbish. but there's no guarantee i'll stop here.

it's the last few days of school!

lijuan date on THURSDAY.

BOWLING ON FRIDAYY!!

i just need to get out of my house.

2007-10-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

AIRRRRPOOORRTT!!!

Haha let me see…when was the last time I went there?

A LOONNGG TIME AGO.

So well I was back. There. That’s where (I think) I had my most wonderful childhood memories…lol.

No..i’m not deprived. It’s just fun..before they renovated it..with all the playgrounds and ice cream shops and so much other fun stuff..
Too bad they’re all gone now. BUT STILL!!! It’s niice.

Had an okay day at school.
‘A’s on MONDAY.
OP exam thingy on THURSDAY.

So headed down to airport aft sch. With the silly GINORMOUS STYRAFOAM BALL in my hands. What a doofus I probably appeared to be..but whatever. Let them think whatever they want. HAH.

Ate at swensens. Not a good option though. Cos of the BAD SERVICE. And the 10++% tax we have to pay on top of what we ate. Hmph! We were soooo close to telling them we din want to pay the service tax. HAHA. TOO BAD!!

So here’s what I ate.

I have no idea what it’s called. But I was super full although I think I really wasn’t. and I took another gloriously long time to finish it – 47 mins.
Haha!!

So then we had earthquake…

stop. I know I look spastic. Don’t comment.pls

we ordered the super nice flavours..but only that the melted whipped cream totally spoilt my butterscotch flavour. Hmph. Still…we ate..and I froze. Total time taken : 2hours?? Yup. It’s true. Woooooh!

So then..went jalan-ing..around the whole place…
and OH MY GOODNESS THERE WAS THIS SUPERLY LOONNGG LINE OF INDIANS WAITING FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT AND ANN MADE ME WALK PAST THEM LIKE 4 TIMES!!!!!! PHOBIA. TRAUMA. HELP. ): I HATE GETTING WEIRD STARES FROM PPL LIKE THEM. HAIR STAND. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY’RE THINKING. It’s scaryyy!!!!!!! )’:

anyways…haha we got away from them eventually and went to viewing gallery where they was one weirdo guy who started talking to us out of nowhere..riight. weird. Ok. Nvm. WAALLK AWWAY!

So we got bored and took more pictures.

the background’s pretty .so’s the ball. Ignore the person in the middle.

what goes up…stays there in a picture.

dun ask me what.

thank God for self-timers.

In short. AWESOME DAY!

Saw this somewhere: All horny ppl are Indian??
NOT TRUE!! Hmmph! sorry. i think indian ppl in general (besides my friends in sch) are SCARY.

Current favs : Everything – Michael buble.
Only you – Tree63

2007-10-20T14:40:00.002+08:00

STUCK

okays. so i'm kinda stuck now.
the silly poly called me back.
there's no dec intake.
i got to wait till the JAE admissions thing next year which is like a million years from now.
and it's like i'll be second priority for them.
so i can't withdraw from this silly jaysee now.
stuck with stinking pw.
stuck with tamil 'A's
and left to wait till next year.
no choice but to tell them i'll retain and be in ARTS this time.
so once application goes through..i'll withdraw.
how stuck am i?

[and i think blogger has a major problem in publishing what i type. cos it either never gets published. or the date's mixed up. today's MONDAY!!!]

2007-10-20T14:40:00.000+08:00

HEH. WHAT A WEEK MAN. WHAT A WEEK.

wed - WR. 1 hour of sleep.

thurs - WR. NO SLEEP

fri - birthday. chiong WR day. ended up totally disgustingly. but i slept at 10! wooh!

___________________________________________________

mummy says i need to enrol into the 'how to be evil - 101' class.

she says i'm too nice to everyone.

that's like nonsense. come on....agree with me! it's nonsense!

___________________________________________________

i have learnt that it's seriously the people close to u who hurt u the most. it's really sad when u come to think about it.

but then again. I thank God i still have Him. (:

2007-10-16T17:45:00.000+08:00

want

answer

please.

2007-10-15T12:18:00.000+08:00

found this super cute comic. (:

so anyways, my weekend was great. (: it's been a LONG time since i've told anyone that. but ya. it was nice. i thoroughly enjoyed cell. the presence of God was so real and it was there that He really broke me and showed me something new of Himself. (: ahh..i love Him so much. (:

cell had steamboat after that at Tim's house....but then as always i had to leave early again...so i couldn't eat the nice chinese food. haha.

so after cell i left for HARI RAYA VISTING. can u beat that? i mean..me..going for raya visiting...haha. joke. but no.. i have a muslim cousin and niece and grand aunts and the list goes..haha..i dreaded the thought of gg cos i thought usually malay house is like darn packed..like last year..all the noisy kids running around like some wild party thing..but this year..i guess my cousin was wiser and decided to let his wife's BIG family to come in the afternoon and his SMALL family come at night. haha. which was a SUPER GOOD IDEA. more bonding la. cos it was like only 15 plus ppl..then ya. ooh my niece is such a darling! (:

was talking to my uncle about church and stuff..and it was only then that i realised how much his church is going through..so i was like sitting there..giving him 'advice', so to speak..on youth outreach activites and service stuff and all.. (: was pretty cool. and he was so proud of me when i told him that i at times lead worship in cell and all..haha he's some major worship leader at his church. like poor him..he plays for like 3 straight services..oops.

but somehow the food at cousin's house was nice yet not nice. cos ME, i can't take chilli. and practically every dish there had majorly huge amounts of chilli in them. so poor me. lol. i mean i can't say i won't eat anything there cos i'm so-called allergic to chilli. i'll make poor great grand aunty sad. so i obliged and ATE. came home...my stomach was like burning. but still okay la. then sunday was TRAUMATIC. )))': the loo was like my second home for the day.. i almost died waiting for the bus gome ytd..stupid stomach was cramping cos of the acid thing..argh.darn pain. but now it kind of got better. not fully though. praying. (: hais. chilli. WHY!

so i relieved my ice-cream/gelato craving yesterday. ((: NICE. raspberry and darkchoc.was super good i tell u. haha. and well __ kind of gave me new 'revelation' of smthing last night..that really made me think..ALOT. i'm wondering if i really did/am still making it hard for _. i'm sorry if i am. but i dunno what i can possibly do. thanks for being nice all this while tho. (:

sch hol today. but it's still PW-marathon.haha.

current fav song: make me wanna - BLUE

it's kinda old. and okay it's kinda dumb...but oh wells. maybe i'm not that rational afterall.

[ if only the time spent yesterday could be now.

cos i know i how i feel now. (: ]

2007-10-11T16:53:00.000+08:00

i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try and i try...but i suck at it.

u know sometimes i really don't understand why people have this mindset that i don't put in effort. like hello? do i need to go publicize my studying habits? my schedule?? i think it's rather shallow the way some humans make conclusions.
and so, i don't need to cry in front of people..or go tell the world what i do behind my room door just to tell them what's going on right? i'm sorry but that's not how it works with me.
i'm pretty much the biggest loser..with 4 fat Us...but i know i did my best..and if my best just isn't good enough..then...so be it.

Good for you if you've never ever seen me explode at someone (seriously. u don't want to know.)...good for you if you've never seen the major emo side of me(cos it really isn't nice).
so far i think you've only known the majorly tired or smiley me...

i was fine with all the ____ hoo hah thing. i knew where i stood. what i had to do. what was to come. yet some things have to happen just to burst my little bubble. so what do i do when everyone's all ____ and i seriously dunno how to react. and it'll look pretty weird..as if i don't care or something. but that's not it. i do care. but haiya...... it just feels like crap.

i still don't understand how i could break it with a smile on with all the cracks inside.
u have no idea how major a role words play.

i pray my rainbow shows through soon.
(:

[i'm bad at psychoing myself]

Hip Hop Violin

2007-10-08T23:57:00.001+08:00

super niiiccee~~
got inspired. lol. i miss lessons. i miss mr lee. hope he'll live a long long time so i can still learn from him.

i found this song as well..
by 4Him

[Measure of a Man]

it's not how tall u stand
how wealthy or intelligent you are
i found out the measure of a man
but God He knows and understands
it's what's in the heart
that defines the measure of a man (:

2007-10-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

so i arrived home late late at night ytd with red aching feet.....raahs. thanks to daddy who passed down dunno-wad foot problem thing to me. can't stand for too long...and can't walk for too long either. for some reason..running is okay.

speaking of running...once sch ends..i'm gna start runnig regularly again. whether i die running, is another story altogether.. someone join me??

so about ytd.....silly open house event...

really blows me how ___ wanted us to elaborated design the ugly booth..which still eventually turned out only average-looking to me. simply cos...who in the right mind will fill the darn board with loads of info that the world isn't gonna read?? rraarhs. haha..and so much for making brochures and all.... like practically noone turned up..ha.

and during all of that..i went to hide when the house dances began.. hid in a nice spot where u could see everything but noone could see u.. ((:

in the end..my triton one..but not that i care..cos i don't have a part in their victory...

and so much for 2nd attendance-taking..cos there was none!!! lol. could have gone home earlier..rah!made me do the silly mass dance..looked like a major goon cos i was doing the opposite side from everyone else...super loserfied. LOL.

apart from all those crap....emjay principal..super sportingly got dunked!!

how nice is that?

~she's sitting there.ready.

~and she's all wet now!!

and today....from all the unhealthy munching of ytd and te lack of water...i have got the ugly sore throat. so i stayed home today. ):

i found out today from my mum..that last night...i was totally zombified. i fell asleep in my room with all the lights and radio running...so she woke me up to switch them all off. after giving me the instructions...she walk away..and returned 15mins later to find me still standing at my room door wide-eyed. freaky. i was sleeping standing up..with my eyes wide open. somehow mummy got me back into bed..and i had no clue of all that happened until she told me today.

haha. so if u ever catch me doing weird stuff late at night..maybe i might be doing it subconsciously. scary.

okay so today...suddenly had the mood to cook dinner again...i think i caught it from sasha, the crazy chef-wannabe. haha.

so well..she cooked the pasta with sauce thingy..

i personally thing it looks rather gross...although it tasted fine.

and i made Quiche. dun ask why of all things that...it just came to me. it's like super simple i guess. (:but the crust turned out bad...i think too much salt added...haha.

oh..and i realised...sketching with my left hand turns out way better that when it's done with my right hand. really interesting. copy drawing..right hand better. free-style and with-the-flow kind of stuff..must use left hand..haha..cool right..ambidextrous!

~best tomato ever!

right..so i was bored...bear with me okay?

alrighties then...off to sleep..church tmr!! ((:

it's been a good start for the weekend, hope it stays that way.. (:

[when days feel like years..i want my great escape.]

2007-10-03T21:16:00.000+08:00

hahas i had an extremely awesome time yesterday!! [:

right. four people walking down citylink wearing bright red shirts and acting weird. that was us.

we practically went all around town. tanah merah to city hall..then to dhoby gaut(is that how u spell it??)..to little india(fyi..i spent less than 5mins there okay!)..back to dhoby gaut..city hall..bugis..tampines..and back to tanah merah. haha.

MRT DAY!

haha.

lunched at FISH & CO. NICE!!!! except that they put too much butter on my fish..bleh. :S

~gloria & me [we look like singtel workers!!! :(( ]

took record time of 1+ hour to finish..haha..so we spent about 2-3 hrs there and went to eat yami yogurt...my first. haha. it was good!! go try go try!! haha

had traditional toilet time and guess what i saw there.....

~i love fish & co. balloon

so cute right??

haha.

and so..on e way back..guess who of all people on planet earth do i see? ______. WHY!

it was a super drama moment seriously. we din even say hi. lol. it was a keep-turning-back-to-see-the-person kind of thing. i felt so super weird..like just funny la..

i finally understand why people say....i don't want to see such&such cos it would be a weird moment. i totally understand why. i don't think i'd forget it. haha.

aahh.

right. so then chiong down to tm..to take neoprints...no, we're no immature..hmph. haha it was fun! yay. they turned out NICE!!! and pretty. haha.

and u know..i learnt one other thing..which i can't mention here..cos some ppl here are reading this crap. fool.
haha.

ohno.influenced. ):

anyways.

here's last month's finding:

technology makes us(or maybe just me) face-to-face-interaction-handicapped.

for some strange reason.

eat this!! tastes super good. super healthy too! ((:

2007-09-23T13:39:00.000+08:00

look look!! haha. i actually cooked! (:

ookaay..so it doesn't look that fantastic...but still...haha i cooked!!

that's really just a miracle in itself. FYI..i bake. i don't cook. note the difference. the upcoming chef in the house is my sis... apparently she wants to become a world renown chef in future. LOL. good for her.

oh my dad bought this super ginormously large strawberries from who-knows-where...and my gosh..they're huge..as big as my palm eh! okay hey, my palm is not that small alright. so i'm not exaggerating. but anyways...if u see them..dun buy unless u like tasteless strawberries. go for the egyptian ones..super niiccee!!! haha.

$$$$$

saw this super lame ad...somewhere..thought it was super interesting..imagine baking cupcakes and then decorating them till they turn out like cute little beetles like those.. how nice. just dun mind the glucose overdose la huh...
alrighties..promos officially begin toommmooorroww...like i don't believe it already here. but it's good anyway. tired of mugging like some siao pig. okay fine..pigs don't study..but what theheck. once this silly row of exams end..i can finally put a stop to all the big 'O's on the cell attendance list. feels terrible being away from cell for super loonng.

heh right. back to mugging.

MMOOOVVEE TO THAT PLACE.

@.@

2007-09-20T12:15:00.000+08:00

): i was in such a bad situation ytd. was supposed to head back to sch to hand up smthing..but then my sis took my keys to sch. great. so i was stuck at home. then came the second wave.

my sec4 form teacher just passed away on tues due to labour complications.

oh man super sad eh..

her baby's in icu and she still has another 3 or 4 year old kid.. )):

hais. i mean she did her best teaching us emath (which i din understand much)...but she was a nice form teacher..

God, take care of her family..

wooooooooh...

2007-09-17T00:18:00.000+08:00

laalaa.

BOINK.

back on a sunday night/ mon morning posting an entry when i could catch more of my beauty sleep( well..not like it actually does anything to my face)..but ya.

i've had CHEMISTRY OVERDOSE this whole week.

practically see goh's face everyday. sians. but i'm beginning to like chem. for the weirdest reason..don't ask me what. maybe it's cos i've surrendered to the fact that bio is tougher than chem. BUT both need memorizing..which i'm terribly bad at. MY BRAIN NEEDS MORE SPACE! got brain external HDD? if only... had mock chem promo on sat morning (raahs.could've slept in.), i din bother study cos confirm cmi one. but surprisingly i did better than MYEs. progressed from 14 to 22..haha still fail, yes i know. but at least i know i'm not that useless.

i've got another 7 more days to exams. YAY! last week of severe mugging! i shall live to tell the tale. haha. 7 more days to cram 6 bio topics...4more chem topics..the whole of econs..and practise math...why do i love last minute studying so much? although it has never failed me...i dunno why i'm fretting this time round...

haha i'm like staying at home but not studying. someone tell me what i'm doing.haha no kidding. i'm studying. but not to my max. God had been faithful in being with me all the way. gotta give Him credit for bearing with my most irritating whines and complaints about work. yet in everything i'm brought back to that one place, always reminded that i can never do it on my own, but with Jesus alone. (:

i'm all pumped up for the week. although i so don't want to go to school tmr (or rather today..since it's alr 1am)....i still want to go for all but 2 lessons..okay. riiight. what am i rambling?

excited. 3 days of school!!! then it's exams!! then i'm done!!!! except for PW..but who cares bout that... haha..

Thank You loads for all that you've done to bring me this far. (:

pressing forward. whoopee!!

more science today

2007-09-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

look what I found!!!

Scientists discover ‘skinny’ gene
Certain flies, mice and people are just born lucky (except in time of famine)

By Linda Carroll
MSNBC contributor

Janine Geredes is the kind of person many of us love to hate. No matter how much the Northern California woman eats, she never gets fat.

While the rest of us obsess over every morsel passing through our lips, convinced we’ll pack on the pounds if we let our guard down for just one moment, Geredes worries she’ll become unappealingly bony if she doesn’t eat enough.

“I’ve always had to work to keep weight on,” says Geredes, 43, who is 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 118 pounds. “When I was a growing up I was teased for being so thin. But now, people are always saying, ‘I wish I could eat like you. You stay so thin. You must work out a ton.’ I don’t.

“My son and daughter are the same way. I’ve always figured it was genetic.”

As it turns out, Geredes may be right.

Scientists now say they have discovered the “skinny” gene. And they’ve found this lucky batch of DNA in a variety of animals, according to a report published Tuesday in the journal Cell Metabolism.

"This gene is in every organism from worms to humans," says the study’s senior author, Dr. Jonathan Graff, an associate professor of developmental biology and internal medicine at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. "We all have it. It's very striking."

Graff and his colleagues had been hunting for a gene that might naturally keep people thin. Eventually, they turned up a promising candidate in a gene that controls fat formation.

Svelte flies rediscoveredAnd in an interesting twist, Graff notes that this gene was originally discovered by a graduate student at Yale University more than 50 years ago. The student, Winifred Doane, was studying fruit flies and noticed that some were particularly fat while others were quite skinny. Doane, now a professor emeritus at Arizona State University, traced the differences in fly fitness to a single gene that she named “adipose.”

But after publication, Doane’s study languished and was forgotten until Graff started searching for more information on the gene that had caught his attention.

Graff borrowed some of the descendents of the skinny fruit flies from Doane to take a closer look at their genetics. Sure enough, fruit flies with efficient copies of the adipose gene were very thin.

Those with poorly functioning copies were pudgier.

If there was one good copy and one bad one, the flies were medium weight.
“The gene was more like a volume control rather than an on/off switch,” Graff says.

Graff and his colleagues wondered how good copies of the gene would impact survival in the wild. So they subjected the skinny flies to famine-like conditions. Not surprisingly, they did poorly. From an evolutionary perspective, this gene is the one that helps animals do well in affluent times — very much like the situation in western countries today, says Graff.

“In times of plenty, these super skinny, sleek and fast flies can easily get away from predators,”

Graff adds. “But in times of shortage, they don’t make it.”

The Texas scientists next wanted to know whether the gene worked the same way in more complicated animals. After proving that they could make worms fat by deleting the adipose gene, the researchers turned their attention to mammals.

First they experimented with single cells in a test tube. When the gene was deleted from ordinary cells, they transformed themselves into fat cells. The cells actually became plump as they accumulated fat droplets, Graff says.

Mice engineered to have efficient versions of the adipose gene were much sleeker than normal counterparts. In fact, they had one-third the body fat of wild mice, says Graff.

Biology of a supermodel“That would be a big difference in humans,” he explains. “The average woman has about 25 percent body fat. Reducing that by a third would take her down to about 9 percent. That’s super lean — a supermodel kind of thin.”

Obesity experts say the new results are exciting.

“This is so cool,” says Dr. Louis Aronne, a clinical professor of medicine and director of the Comprehensive Weight Control Program at New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City.

Theoretically, Aronne says, you might be able to come up with an obesity treatment that mimics what this gene does.

It would be interesting to look at this gene in populations prone to obesity, like the Pima Indians, adds Eric Ravussin, a professor at the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, La. Earlier research by Ravussin showed that the Pimas, who live in Arizona and Mexico, become obese only when they live in an environment where food is plentiful and exercise lacking.

Like the beginning of any big advance, the research prompts as many questions as it answers, both experts say.

This gene appears in cells all over the body, Ravussin says. This means that scientists will need to carefully look for side effects when they change levels of the gene or the protein it encodes.

Still, Aronne says, the new study “emphasizes how much closer we are to unraveling the mysteries of body weight regulation.”

But that doesn’t mean people should wait for a pill to cure obesity, he adds. That’s a long way off, even with the new research.

Linda Carroll is a health and science writer living in New Jersey. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Newsday, Health magazine and SmartMoney.

© 2007 MSNBC Interactive

haha this proves i'm not weirdly-sized. it's actually good. lol

2007-09-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

whaha. 5.5/25...then it's 2/25...wow.what's next?
so i sat at my chair. and i thought. study or dun study still no difference. actually..i got worse marks when i studied. so what's the point? help me.
it's like everything just went haywire the past 2 days. problem outside. problem inside. aiyah..everywhere la. and what did i do? haha. nothing. so useless i tell u.
oh man. there's like so much of singlish.
BUT not as if it matters cos i'm in a whatever-happens-i-don't-care kind of mood right now. so there.
just finished a PW marathon.
looks good now.
hopefully we get back a good report. heh. i wish.
still left the stupid interview..........and there's no way we can ever get an A without one..
NO ONE wants to be interviewed.....NO ONE wants to link us to the right people...raaahs. receptionists. <.> tired of talking to them. give u one long story..but never get to the point.
new news. nope. not good news. bad news. wowee.
i still dun get why i'm the one who figures these things out before the rest do. okay forget it. u don't know what i'm saying.
so i'm back to typing nonsense cos i'm bored. my brain's all zapped of energy. and i've got to choose between __1__ and __2__ . if i choose 2 then _ will get mad cos it'll start a chain reaction of stuff happening. if i choose 1 then i'm turning down 2 for the dunno-how-many-ieth time. ): raahs.
but oh wells. at least i'm getting my sleep these days. yay. that's the best part about hols. full 8 hours of sleep(or more..heh)..

Free Hugs at Cedar

2007-08-31T00:47:00.001+08:00

ohman. came across cedar videos while browsing some stuff on youtube. haha. this caught my attention. if i'm not wrong this took place when i was sec 3?? loonng ago.haha. but quite cute eh. the life in an all girls sch compared to now. raah. we had more liberty to do stuff. lol. free hugs. who'd have thought of that. i miss being in sec sch.

2007-08-29T23:03:00.000+08:00

i've never seen anything/anyone as _______ as this before.
well there's always a first for everything they say.
but this is not how i pictured it.
eeew.
God help them see that this is not how u planned it to be.
in truth.

moving on

2007-08-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

all things happen for a reason. it's whether we take it in the right spirit.
and know what? i didn't. for the past 2 weeks..what have i been doing? sulking away.
but did it help? NO. it made things worse. so i learnt my lesson. u end up doing silly things when u take your eyes of Jesus. u lose focus. and u lose common sense. lol. weird but true to a certain extent.
u gradually become no different from everyone out there. and before u know it, u're behaving just like one of them as well. something struck me when i caught myself in that situation. SHERNI WHAT ARE U DOING?! lol.
something william spoke to me today made me think. education was meant for us to glorify God. but what more commonly seen today, is that education makes us lose focus and instead draws us away from Him in such a subtle manner. isn't it scary when u think about it?
fight the current.
the message at service today wasn't something new. but the testimonies he shared were what caught my attention. somehow when a well-known speaker comes and shares..for some reason i don't feel impacted cos i'm like... his relationship with Christ is 'up there' and we're like 'down here'..and so u can't really compare the level of faith. but when someone 'new' comes along and shares.... u can place urself in the person shoes and totally feel the way he feels. and that's when i begin to realise that hey, it's possible to have faith like that. okay, so maybe i've got some warped metality.but whatever. haha.
____________________________________
The Way You Are
by The Afters

until You came, i was just the same as everybody else
who ever saw the light and turn away
You love me now, You loved me then
now and again, You show me how it would've been
if i'd gone the other way

and after all this time
i've come to find my soul's fragility
but You've rectified my frenzy
by Your strength

it's like the sun's swallowed up by the earth
like atomic bombs in reverse
as if a glass could contain the same
that's the way You are in me
that's the way You are

now here i stand, looking back to how things used to be
but i will never be alone again
coz You're with me
and now i see
what it means to be part of a mystery

and after all this time
i've come to find my soul's fragility
but You've rectified my frenzy
by Your strength

it's like the sun's swallowed up by the earth
like atomic bombs in reverse
as if a glass could contain the same
that's the way You are in me
that's the way You are
_____________________________

after listening to this song for sooo long...i've finally realised that it's actually really nice. lol.
a song well summed up. (:
okay so i'm like in a super super good mood today. i'll try and stay like this for the rest of this week as well. MUST. don't want to go back to sulky-mode again. booooooo. haha.
thanks to everyone who bothered to try and cheer me up this past week. appreciate it. (:
love u all. (:
_____________________________

with y.ou next to me the unimaginable becomes a norm. ^-^

sometimes i wonder why we bother to think so much instead of just accepting things the way they come. or is it just me?

sheesh

2007-08-22T23:39:00.000+08:00

_________ thinks that i :
1. am irresponsible. (all cos i tot i lost a key but all along it was safely kept in my wallet where it would never get lost.)
2.have some memory loss problem. (like who's so free to actually remember unimportant stuff that happened a month ago?!)
3. i can't follow instructions (know wad? i'm not bothered. cos __'s methods of doing things are unreasonable)

now then, can anyone reason why i get mad so often?

came home today and was totally shooting everyone down. dunno why. but ya. got fed up with myself as well. went to play some guitar and worship and all. felt better. i so totally miss my violin. it's not fun to play it anymore without learning anything new. the old stuff are nice but not nice enough to sustain my interest for 6 mins. i want to go for lessons again...... )):

daddy wants me to go with him for the Singapore Bay - Shears Bridge run on sunday. my gosh. run 12 km? haven't trained in so many years. ee. i think even if i do go i'll stroll my way throughout. haha. bring my camera. take my sis along. walk around. pose and take rubbish shots. our usual pastime. ahaha. hopefully can. if not i won't go.seriously. unless someone wants to go with me?? don't think it'll happen. but then the time could be spent mugging. so i'm like undecided. and i'll miss church if i go as well. HAIS. messiness.

can't be bothered to think already. braindead.
and i've finally officially concluded that army turns people into morons. one good example. daddy. the brain processing rate is like pentium 1 while normal people are pentium 4 for example. haiyo. see the vast gap. it's really amazing. heh

creeps.

2007-08-19T13:06:00.000+08:00

days flying so so super fast. only another month or so to mug. no time no time.
know wad...there's really nothing to blog about.
and then there are ppl who just don't understand that i need more alone-time. so please stop bugging me. not that i don't want to spend time with u guys. miss y'all alot if you realise. but this is just one of the things i've put on the shelf for me to touch on later. trust me, i don't like sitting at my table cramming illogical things into my head. it wasn't an option.

and then there's my dad who wants to go overseas for like 6 months, 1yr..or maybe even 2 years. i still can't decide if it's a good thing or not. cos it means less nagging for the whole family. but then there won't be anyone to drive me to school, anyone to go good shopping with, and no one to irritate me. i've survived this once like 3-4 years ago. i thought it was alright. but right now..it's best for him to stay put and leave like in 2 years time. by then my sis wil be in sec one. i'll hopefully be in a U and well ya. more stable family situation in a sense. why do i bother to think so much anyway. he'll still make a solo decision. raahs.

yays!

2007-08-10T12:29:00.000+08:00

haha. yes. no more nonsense to worry about.

ndc performace apparently went well. haha.

but it was a good experience tho. like i've never actually danced traditional dance before. what more a fusion one. haha. i had fun actually. but the costume made me feel like santa clause jr.

and after ndc we had econs test. 2hrs. how anti-climax can this sch get? haha but then i din have time to study for the test so like i was practically crapping my way through. right.
after sch..had some silly farewell thing for the j2s. went to yishun park. of all places. have a farewell at yishun park! eeyer. seriously. full or ____ people. irks me. anyways, us four girls had fun on our own. doing crazy stuff and all. so we ended at around 530. we headed to northpoint. another weird place in singapore. and we bought the same adidas deodrant. this whole having-same-stuff-thing started off with the same earrings divya bought. they're so nice!! haha. so not being able to stand np, we went to tm. stereotyped place. haha. took neoprints. my 2nd time. how loser can i get. haha. but they turned out pretty. pics will be up soon. (:
i din realise how much we had in common until dinner. haha. it's scary if u think about it. oh. we bought another pair of earrings on our way back home as well. ((:

ytd was one boring day. slept in..for once. (: had a 10 hour sleep. felt so good! haha. studied till 3. then napped till 6. i'm so pig. haha. watched ndp on tv. not fantastic la. previous years were better. supposed to go watch live fireworks but then alot of places were cordoned off so can't really do much. after watching..came the best part of the day. dinner. happily eating then had major stomach ache. that was it. it initialted a series of toilet trips. it was the start of stomach flu. raahs. couldn't sleep the whole night. so i'm still kind of groggy up till now. fever. and terrible stomach ache. all thanks to chilli. angryness.

2007-08-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

so far so good?

THERE'S NO MORE RNR TO WORRY ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yays!! hahas.
seriously that's a load off all of us.
but there're new problems. silly fusion dance.
totally malu-ed myself by acting pro and totally ______________. haha.
so malu-ating!!
haha.
so it's been dance dance all the way since wed.... i'm aching. got 2 big bruises thanks to hall floor friction. rrahs. terribly hurts when u execute floor moves. but one thing good... it keeps me toned. it's good right?? right?
but pain. feel old.climb up and down stairs and i want to collapse. thank goodness there're escalators everywhere else. (:
pigged out today.
supposed to eat sakae buffet...but had rehearsal. so had to forgo it. )): i was so looking forward to it. but no. went to eat kfc. budget. seriously. haha. i ate the shrooms meal...plus another burger from BK. haha. pig. but yet i wasn't full. dunno why. all the dancing helps in digestion??
i'm not gaining weight either. i'm losing more actually. no matter what i do. tmr's another busy day.
9-12 there's dance practice.
2-4 there's PE elective -aeroboxing. gna die of muscle aches.
where's my sports tape????!! in case my toe sprains all of a sudden and my ankle gives way like the last time... i'm falling apart.

2007-07-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

love y.ou too much to let y.ou go.
need.HELP.
TRUST.
GO DO!

2007-07-30T21:39:00.001+08:00

i'll forgive cos u apologized. (:

is it worth being nice?

2007-07-28T13:19:00.000+08:00

lemme run u through my week from where i left off on tues.

wed: stupid RnR
thank goodness it went well even though we did practically everything last min. and thanks to u guys who helped! (: at the end of the day when u hear the kid say...i had fun! what's on next week?..it's like woah..all ur effort paid off (:

thurs: loonngg ddayy
started at 7.30 and ended at 9.30 at night. not even doing anything productive. if i was studying then i wouldn't be complaining. but no. i wasn't studying. ended sch aft stupid pract. then attend dunno wad competition rehearsal?? but at least choco fudge cake cheered me up although it was full of practically everyone's saliva. eew. haha. so then left for ndp DANCE rehearsal. it's rubbish nonsense la. why did i even join it?? wonder what i was thinking seriously. me, and dance?? it's like oil and water. so went and like kenna suan-ed here and there. and my stupid toe kept getting sprained. raaaah.
ended at 8.30. chionged to draw dunno wad kolam design till 9.00 but it totally din work out so we all just left for home. i was so zombified walking home from the mrt stn. surviving on an empty stomach since 10+ in the morning. stomach was cramping. ugghhh. reached home chionged compo and eom and 1 other thing. i owe barnacles mutation concept map. craps. oh and during dance we choreographed one dance routine for the czps puny ppl as well. at least that's done.

fri: total waste of my time
forgot to bring the compo which i chionged the previous night. i'm so smart i tell u. ended sch and head to peejaysee. nonsense sch. seriously. all the way on the other far side of the island. choachukang. like million miles away la. went there. compete. din win anything. then still need to sit through horrible singing stuff and dance stuff. watch people carry home shiny fat cups. i tell u the sch is so budget it has mist fans. and no air con in the hall. and they were smoking satay in the canteen. so the whole place full of mist and smoke..wah like haze but it's indoors la. so sit through nonsense until 8.30? once it ended left peejay and went to eat in some ulu-ated shopping place. i was already half dead la. we went all the way to peejay and came home empty handed except for COPs la. diu lian. seriously. we made history for emjay..1st batch to come back with nothing. and teepeejay made history of going back with something. -___________-
so yay. ate at LJS. i would've died choking ytd thanks to some ppl. excellent eh. headed back home after that. and trained from choachukang to jurong eat all the way to tanah merah. too scared to walk back alone. so daddy fetched me from there. they bought me macs! woohoo. treat of the day. nice food not paid by me. but....i was half asleep while eating so..no fun la. the cheeseburger is still in my fridge. haha. to top it all off... ___ smses me... meet 10am tmr for gpp. and dun 4get to email me ur eom. i would've smashed my phone at that instant if i was still using my old phone. these ppl think i got NO LIFE isit??? this is hard.

ookaay

2007-07-24T00:15:00.000+08:00

so i guess i'm staying put in this lifeless concrete thing called mjc.
sherni needs to start liking chem.
to start doing tutorials like a good student.
to stop complaining bout lousy teachers even though they really are lousy.
to STUDY.
to not get angry even when i'm sacrificing 3rd service.
to make full use of saturdays since i can't go for cell till promos end.
to keep her room clean.
to stop thinking she can't make it.
to get scolded by ________.
to prove that annoying living being that i'm NOT stupid.
to believe that with Jesus i can.
MARVELOUS. SIMPLY MARVELOUS.

2007-07-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

so it's only 3 weeks. not 3 months.
like what's the big deal???
and i HAVE a VALID reason.
quote : " i'm quite a reasonable person u know...i'll understand if u have something on"
so much for that.
it seems kind of faint right now doesn't it?
hais.
dun do things to please Man??
DUN PLEASE MAN??
it's mismatched.
and u wonder why i contribute so little.

back to irrational thinking.
EXPEL ME. QUICK.
at least then i'll have a reason to get out.
i dunno what i'm doing.
seriously.
should have just stuck to arts.
it may be tough but at least i wouldn't be hating it so much.
and to make things worse...ppl like barnacles come along.
WHY?
and how is all this making me a better person again?
i'm not wanting an easy way out.
i just want to at least be able to put my heart to what i'm doing.
but i can't even do that now.
it's like, i hate to say this but, impossible.
i wouldn't be having a time problem if i knew wad i was doing.
and if anyone knew me well enough, i'd never miss cell/church for sch by choice.
but i guess some still refuse to.
and that can't be helped.
and so i'll remain silent and not argue my way to victory cos victory never comes in that way.
just stay patient.
and let time pass.

PTM tmr.
i guess my paretns are gna get a rude shock to find out all the stuff teachers are gna say about me.
1. never hands in work on time.
2. not doing well in tests.
3. stoning in class.
4. horrible MYE results.
5. needs to study MORE
6. if she doesn't put in hard work she won't make it through promos.
it was just written all over HER face that day.
thanks alot. thanks alot.
it's not as if no one knows the things i do. come to think about it..my parents already know i hate sch...that i dunno what's gg on, and that i nv do my work. LOL
but still..they know in front of the teacher they have to act as if they don't know and side the teacher in circumstances like that. weird.
so much for enjoy ur jc life.
i'm so loving it. seriously.

SABO!

2007-07-16T21:13:00.000+08:00

i'm just bored and feel like sabo-ing ppl.

so here. enjoy.

ahaha.

this is what we go to sch for.

nauh in the library.

while the rest cut cut and just keep cutting stuff.

2007-07-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

seriously. i think i'm going mad.

if i don't have daily natural, on-the-earth outlets...i'm gna burst.

gelato indulgence.

works while it lasts.

_______________ needs to get away from my face.

or ____________ will be in big trouble.

excuse me while i think irrationally for awhile.

why can't i just get expelled. then i'd be free from all this stupid crap which i totally have no idea why i'm stuck with.

ok so everything won't be solved by doing that. and escaping is not an option. but i don't care for now. time to end the irrational thinking for now.

done.

***

just cos i din go for one event does not make me ___

not happy then tell me straight can?

dun ignore/talk indirectly/black face/anything else u can think of.

and i thought ___ was a better place of release.

i was wrong.

humans fail.

cos we aren't machines.

but then again machines fail too.

so what then am i actually saying?

raahs.

feeling fractious all over again. cyclic?

what am i doing?

2007-07-12T23:19:00.001+08:00

how is it that i'm surviving day to day....walking around like everything's alright...like no matter how mad i am..i can still smile and talk to them.. no matter how horrible things are....it's like nothing ever happened at all. i'm not even trying to be fake. it just turns out that way.

so wad's wrong? i don't know either.
it's just these days i'm getting fractious so easily.
maybe i'm angry at myself. maybe at someone else.
maybe it's really nothing at all.
maybe it's just the inability to handle stuff.

breakdown. serious.

sorry to whoever out there who became innocent victims of my outburst.
my bad.

all this managing and balancing and all...makes me think so much everyday. i was so caught up in thinking that day..i totally forgot i was crossing a road. it was only after awhile that i realised i was standing in the middle of the lane. thank God there wasn't ANY car in sight. or i'd be dead by now. scary.

cmg back home at 8 -9 plus almost everyday from doing cca proj stuff.. it's not even studying u know...by the time i get home..there's only time for dinner.shower.last min touch ups on craft items. a brief flip thru lecture notes and i hit the bed. this kind of lifestyle is NOT gna get me promoted. and my weekends are booked.FULL. sat mornings there's meetings and more compulsory meetings. ends LATE. rush for cell/service. return home late. SUN. nth to say. there's zero time. so forget abt it. so much for the weekend.

so anyway. couldn't take all the rubbish anymore. almost blew up again ytd. but no i didn't. came home early from sch today. and spent my free hours worshipping. and it worked. there was this instant release. although not totally but i sure felt better.

and i can't thank Jesus enough for the many 'miracles' He's done for me this week. seriously. it's like one after another. i din even pray for them. all i did was trust that He'll bring me trhough everyday. and God never fails. i'll just say one of them that happened. i had so much stuff to do...had no time to do my hw..and i had like 4 assignments due the next day. haven't even studied the chapters..wad more do the given hw?? so i just left everything..and spent my remaining time doing qt. and the next day...i was ready to face the teachers who would qn and scream. BUT. no. they looked at the class...and talked and said they were gna extend the deadline. not one teacher. all four of them. (:

so many things can happen. but sometimes one still feels........

??

2007-07-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

you seriously don't want to know what caused this.

but it really looks scary right? actually it was. and i took this picture in ~~an emo-moment~~.a particularly weird situation. there are times when enough's enough. and i have enough homework for sure.

been a BUSY busy few days. sleeping a bare few hours and then returning to school zombiefied. but i guess it came true. my triple U streak. off to the principal's office. and i got A for tamil..that was not expected. i was hoping for a D. lol. hope i dun get kicked out of the school man.

been designing so many banners and stuff..cutting and pasting. i'm sick of cutting. my fingers are all sore. even my parents tried to help me an gave up 1/4 of the way.

grace and strength. much needed.

2007-07-05T00:35:00.001+08:00

powerful.
_______________

0.0

2007-07-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

here are the horribly drawn cartoon stuff..
looks like crap..still don't understand why they said it was nice. lol.

interesting.seriously.

__________________

good good.

2007-07-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

been happily busy over the past few days.
notice the word..happily.
haha yes.
cell on sat was great.
although i wasn't allowed to cycle to cell..cos apparently i can't be trusted to cycle on my own without my dad. am i still ten?? LOL. i can ride okay!!.. cell was still good.
time of refreshing after a weird week.
it's like i felt the Holy Spirit slap me on my back.
get back on track!
yes. in my busyness i kinda slackened. NOT GOOD!
but now i'm back.
learnt alot.
so here's the thing. i do do stuff.... obviously i can't possibly share everything rite....but then it appears as if i'm not doing anything and just enjoying myself in my little zone. but well hey, God knows i AM working. in my own ways.
moral: Don't label ppl without actually trying to find out more.
it's really not nice when it doesn't turn out to be true.

ANYWAY.. saturday night again. i tried my best not to end it on a bad note..tried to make sure the day worked out... but i again(aparently my parents think it's my fault) blew it. maybe i SHOULD just shut up. cos like everything i say is like wrong la. the things i say. the tone. the volume. the pace. forget it la.
but somehow..it got blown away in the wind and things were back to normal in hours..
so i watched the SEABISCUIT movie till like 0130hrs...wah..the horse is super powerful la.
it's amazing how much motivation a horse can provide.
it's like u look the enemy straight in the eye...and then all of a sudden u got extra power to fight the battle. cool eh?
so only retired to bed at like 0215hrs. and woke up at 7 for 1st service.
and that was another power service.
to have VISION.not sight. (:
but i was super not feeling well the whole time la...everytime we had to stand up i was worried i'd faint. and the temperature wasn't any better.
third service...honestly..my body was like shutting down.

~~i rmb my sheep doodles on my book.~~
the shepherd can't just leave the sheep to do stuff on it's own..cos it seriously needs direction.
i trust Jesus to teach me His shepherding skills so i'll be a good one too.
after service agenda: brainstorm for sch outreach ideas at SWENSENS'.
ice cream!!!!
and oily fries!!!
LOL

and today..went to watch Nancy Drew with ann and sasha.
weird how a pre-teen movie left me scared at some parts...
those scary big one blue eye and one brown eye... EEEEE. scary. seriously.
and how the L guy just appears out of nowhere...
my gosh.
but it's a fairly predictable show la.
maybe it's cos i've read like millions of the books when i was in pri sch.
so the plot is kind of stereotyped.
LOL
then came home and had guitar session with adora.
was interesting.
i should sing like a syringe..not a fan. haha.
good analogy!!!
and i should wham the guitar..and not stroke it.
wow. learnt alot.
then came mass online shopping. ahahaha.
it's amazing how twisted a day can get.
and now it's almost 12 and i'm terribly hungry.
there's spoiler mtg again tmr. i need grace. i need to be joyful there. if not i'll just be grumpy and moody and sian and all the other stuff... no different from the rest of the attendees.
but seriously. rnr is so waste time.
rawrs.
alrights..off say goodnight to Daddy and then to search for food. heh.

PRAISE JESUS!

2007-06-29T19:59:00.000+08:00

I PASSED MY MYE ORAL!!!!!!!!!!!

73.33%

AND I GOT 20 FOR LISTENING COMPRE!!!!!!

AMAZING..

i don't think i'll fail my Alvl oral on wed then.

THERE'S HOPE!!

YAY YAY YAYS!!!

days_of_devastation

2007-06-28T12:08:00.000+08:00

it's the END of midyear exams.

i'm so toast.
prepare to see.... U U U and U. DD.
yea. haha. CMI.

mummy says i'm mad. put pressure on myself.
but i'm such a slacker student. if there's no pressure then when's the work gonna be done?
so she finally understands i totally hate what i'm doing now. and that i'm just doing this so i can get what i want next time. that is..IF i meet the requirements to get it la. which is like...dunno whether can also...right.

i looked at the exam papers and i was like.... should have studied more.should have studied MORE.!!! argh. i had no idea what i was writing for both chem and bio. i bet the teachers will just laugh at my answers. it's like 10 marks essay qn and i wrote 5 lines or rubbish. (x2) .

i'll just hope i don't see any single digits in my results. exaggerating? nah. it's possible.

and why do people keep scolding me for wearing my old sneakers?? i know i bought new ones but the old ones are so nice to wear. it's like they've went through 3+ almost 4 years with me....means alot. and yes fine...i'll wash it soon! but just not now. can't be bothered.

back to stinking PW and RnR.
my hol tmr..youth day and e-learning days are so...burned. there's mt oral/listening exam tmr. last minute. then there's mt Alvl oral training tmr(this one i MUST go. or i'll REALLY FAIL). then monday..i know there's something on..but i just can't rmb now..tues there's some sch thing again. wed there's Alvl mt oral. ARGH. so fast. i haven't spoken tamil in ages. i mean i feel weird. No. i've got to pass it. it's like 40%? madness.

ICS(or at least only 6 of us) dinner tonight at dunno where. they're gg out for movie too..but i'm sick of watching movies like surf's up and happy feet and all....abit not entertaining and so predictable one. well that's just me. go watch and enjoy if u want. not stopping u. (:

then there's mini 4N(as in really super mini) gathering tmr... just go out and chill..at dunno where..eat ice cream i think..haha. YAY. i miss them. (sorries to hanwei for postponing our outing SO MANY TIMES. my bad.)

can't wait for the weekend. there's cell! there is right?? and then there's church. and monday's a HOliDAy. haha. okays.

it's gna be fun Fun FUN!
and then back to sch. NOOO FUUNN! X(

TODAY...

2007-06-24T19:11:00.000+08:00

was interesting. in short. although i was rather pangseh-ed during.....haha..there were valid reasons. the post-service traditional agenda was kinda spoilt by SOME ppl. but nvm.
we only went to eat. good food.sponsored by SU ANN. well..not exactly..cos i'm treating her the next round..haha.oh wells. so then the usually empty audi was NOT empty. it was NOISY. ): so we didn't stay there. so we worked out our first ever PLAN B. which was..7th floor. right. then mummy wanted me home. so much for the last sunday before school reopens.
NOT really excited for sch..cos there're EXAMS!!! which i haven't studied for. don't be smart and question me on what i've been actually doing for the hols. so like chem is tmr and i've only covered 2 out of 4 topics..BRIEFLY. yay me. mug tonight. and tmr morning till paper starts..at 1.
for once i'm happy that i'm not fretting over exams. haha. but is that good? i dunno.
_________
YOUR eyecandy was up there the WHOLE time.
and you just SAT in your seat.
wow.

2007-06-23T22:48:00.000+08:00

okays. so there's something wrong.

well there's always something wrong.

it's whether u think about and talk about it and be mad about it OR not.

i choose the not option.

_________

so then. waiting/dating class.

was alright. haha. tt's bout all u'd hear from me.

__________

so right. i'm sick. well at least i was sick till i thought i was better on fri night and didn't take my medicine this morning. so now. i'm kind of sore in the throat..again. for the 5th time in the year. and it's only the 6th month. craps. for some weird reason i've been rejecting food all day. like here i am. hungry. but i don't feel like eating. so weird! okay..if u know me well enough...u'd agree that tt's weird. rite? haha.

so right now i'm like on this no junk food diet. which is really gonna be terribly difficult!!! this then tells u how much of a pig i am. heh. but yah. and no. my parents' were not the ones who initiated. it was ME. i'm now a convicted pig. oh man, that sounds so crap. o.O

___________________

2007-06-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

PHOTOTAKING SESSION FOR ALL CEDARIANS AT THE NATIONAL STADIUM ON THE 14TH OF JULY AT 1615HOURS. BE THERE!!!!!

and it just HAS to be the day i CAN'T make it coz i've got combined zone meeting! which is a good thing of course. but also not good coz i DON'T get to be IN the picture.only get to SEE the picture. and i'll MISS the GREAT chances of seeing my GREAT budds there. and all the not-too-fantastic-but-still-okay kind of teachers. and all the weirdo seniors and more. haha. HOW!!!!???

everyone's going(i think)! haha. but i don't think everyone knows. cos i din know till like not too long ago. haha. apparently an email was sent out. but wasn't forwarded as requested by the sender. ARGH. haha.
oh wells. we'll see. if i should be there..there'll be a way. if not..then TOO BAD SHERNI!!! haas.

why am i so hard on myself?

spring cleaning!(okay so it's not exactly spring..)

2007-06-20T19:15:00.000+08:00

when Daddy gets a day off...or when he's on leave from camp..it just means 2 things:

1. spring cleaning

2. a family outing

so i distanced myself from the whole spring cleaning of the storeroom project..cos the dust gets to me. rash. or swollen eyes. or a bad throat. argh.

anyways...from all the unwanted and long-stored items... daddy found....

FUDGEPOT!! my lovely little hedgehog. ((:

to add to that..he picked out my long lost pri school eraser collection..LOLs. it looked so cute.

to think i was so free and fascinated by those little things....i think i had like 3 whole pencilcases full..but i gave the other 2 away to my budds..hahaha..still can't imagine i did such things. haha.

well then..behold..my eraser collection

(well 1/3 of it at least)..

and oh! the shirt i bought online...... it's like M-size...it's micro sized... LOL. so i gave it to my sis. haha. so much for online shopping. hahaha. nvm. i'm blessing my sis who needs stuff as much as i do. she looks nice in that colour anyway..haha.

2007-06-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

MONDAY

i was boredified. i was sleeping while the rest cut paper.

went back to school to cut paper..cut more paper..and stick paper..

and tell ppl that I HAVE a laminating machine.

that a photocopier can paste 3 of the same picture on one page AT THE SAME TIME.

that u can use a big piece of plastic as a long ruler.

that ALOT OF GREEN doesn't really make things look nice.

that i was gonna pangseh them at 12 noon to watch movie with Ann instead. HAHA.

i bet they hated me for the moment.

and so i did.

not like i cared anyway. oops. haha.

FANTASTIC FOUR wasn't exactly fantastic. but okay la.

Ann thought JOHNNY was hot....lols

i think the effects could have been better. the nice parts were just the villain chases i guess.

and the car crashes and the bombs exploding. yea tt's about it.

and oh yes..the part where they swapped their powers. LOL.

FUNNNYYY!!!!

then we walked around for dresses..in preparation of SOMEONE'S BIG WEDDING.

haha. and we walked more aimlessly...till mummy asked my to buy groceries. haha.

head for NTUC. auntie's favourite spots.

carry the GREEN basket and walk around hardly being able to carry all the stuff...

i need more muscles. >.<

in the end..i reached home feeling all aunty-fied from all the carrying...walking home all the way from tanah merah MRT. powerful.

too bad we din have a camera to capture the aunty moments.

i'll remember next time.

2007-06-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

haah..father's day dinner ytd at auntie's place.
met my cousin's bf for the first time. sorry to say...he's so ugly.
although he's smart and rich..not very tall..dark..or handsome.. lol.
eeeeeeee.

haha.
i saboed him through all the games we played.
i think he hates me.
to think i need to go over to bombay for a 3-day wedding next year.
gross.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.
haha.
but there's good food!!
so i dun mind.

my sis and my lil cousin under the strawberry umbrella

all the cousins and one nice aunt

bought my daddy a tie. and then paid for mandy's belt and mx's wallet for their dads too.
i became mummy sherni for 10 mins while in the cashier queue. ee. hahah.
can't wait for my new shirt to arrive! it's cmg tmr!! LOL.
i love my ice cream sessions with ANN.
it satisfies my cravings.
bought my guitar string finally.
can strum that wood thing after so long.
i'm finally mugging now.
praise Jesus..all those stuff i never understood..they are at long last sticking in my head!
i can memorise successfully!!
yay.
honor God and He will honor you!
((:

2007-06-15T15:22:00.000+08:00

oh wells. back to plain ol' s'pore. the stress-filled land protruding out of the sea. the land full of taxes and fines. the land that currently has the GSS! and the land God's gonna use mightily to touch the other nations!

church camp was awesome!! i mean every church camp is la. but this year's one has been extra special for me..cos..well.... hmm... haha

like always staying awake during the morning sessions was a great challenge not only for me..but for the rest as well... to think i felt bad almost falling asleep during prayer while ah lee sat at the aisle and slept like he was in bed. like the whole world can see la. lol. anyways..the sessions were really impacting..i liked the Sarah Yang's ones the best... she reminds me of me. LOL. the way she preach is like..she talk..then think awhile..then talk..haha..and like got no focus in her message..like jump everywhere and flow in the spirit kind. and she was really down-to-earth and real. so easy to absorb and relate. YUP.

her workshop was powerful too..like at the end they had this altar call thing..and wah u can really feel the fire of God. cos at the seat was like freezer..and in the front my back was like burning like behind me got furnace..so i was sweating like some pig there..wanted to like just take off my jacket but so weird..so i left it..then caleb came and prayed..i mean he has no idea who i am but he prayed that i would be a great Deborah! like wah man..EVERY year..all the people who prophesy say the SAME thing. so i'm like tellin God can u tell me something else..instead of the same one every year.. but it happened again here. so i'm like FINE! just tell me what to do and i'll do it. enough 'nagging' in a sense. lol.

but seriously..more than all the sessions and fellowship and all... what i enjoyed most was just being in God's presence all throughout the day... i learnt so much about Him..and it's like i've always asked God for special encounters during regular QTs at home... and then pst Daniel said..God says He wants to too. so i'm all set. LOL

camwhoring was fun! lol. sorry bout the lingo. but it's the most appropriate term i can use. haha.

taking crazee shots of nothing and us being lame. i totally missed out on chance of taking those nice artistic kind..like those from the nice secret staircase. haiya.

i miss the bed and shower there. so nice. haha. ok. enough bout camp. too many stuff to write..so if u wanna know more just ask me. i'll tell u over a meal. talking bout food...camp food was a disappointment.......... i was under-eating terribly... that explains for all the teatime chocolate indulgence!!!! fantastico!! but it kinda made us all feel like puking cos it was too nice. LOL

good bonding with the cell girls.. loved it. kudos to Samuel Chua.... he's growing strong in God. Press on yea!

can't wait for all that's gonna happen in time to come!

Jesus loves me and so do I Him!

Do you?

not again!!

2007-06-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

once again another tragic ending to a pretty saturday.
it's like EVERY saturday night something totally screws up.
it's driving me nuts.

last week was some emo prob i had.
today it's even worse.
some moron smashed my aunt's car windows and ran off with my sister's bag.
i mean of all things..ONLY ran off with that.
a rugged-looking adidas backpack. my ex-schoolbag. argh.
take something that belongs to a kid?
haiyo.

so what's in there that's important is like her wallet and the set of house keys.
and her wallet is like less than a week old. poor kid.
she's so traumatized.
ok not only her.
cos it's like an extended family bday dinner gathering thing..ending like this..is like tragic.
so there's this whole bunch of traumatized adults with 2 crying kids.

hais. God, convict the stealer....oh wait no. wrong. convict the thief. i mean seriously. he's not gna get much out of that ugly bag. there's just coloured paper, an old tee shirt and shorts in the bag. with the wallet with only $2 and lots of sentimental cards..and there's the keys.
it's a kid's bag for goodness sake.
argh.

it's no wonder i had this weird feeling during the whole service just now. like something's up and wrong. i should've called to check on things. ARGH. why didn't i??!!
sherni. just do things when u feel like it!! cos most of the time ur 'intuition thing' is like right!!
my fault? ): robber's fault!!!!!

nvm. we'll leave it. and trust that no one will break into my house using the keys while we're at church tmr. and that the person will kindly return the bag and it's stuff to the police after realizing that what they stole is totally worthless.

why is it that my sister's stuff always get stolen? the last time was a bottle of her savings amounting to like $80. i mean someone who came to my house...a friend..imagine a friend doing such a thing to ur sibling. disgusting. then there was this time at a hotel..some kid stole her toy...aiyo....

)':

hmm?

2007-06-08T15:08:00.001+08:00

so yesterday was mummy's bday but i totally din do anything special for her. except that the first thing i did when i woke up was wish her happy bday. i guess that in itself was a big surprise for her. cos i haven't remembered anyone's bday since term 2 started.my sorries to the ppl out there who were victims of my forgetfulness.

anyway, mummy and daddy left for God-knows-where-in-the-world last night. so now i'm stuck at home with my look-alike. come to think of it, i think i prefer it when my parents are home. i mean it's only like 18 hrs since their leave...and i'm already feeling weird. there's a list of stuff to do..which i obviously haven't done. then there's mealtimes to worry about. and i've got to deal with 11yr old syndromes. bonding? i don't think so.

good patience development i guess. and doing chores a home is like exercizing without even leaving the house. my dad's a clean freak. so everything has to be sparkling clean when he returns or else...

***
i dunno why. but somehow this year..i don't find myself looking forward to camp. weird, i know. hais. maybe it's just cos i've got so much stuff on my to-do list. and it's all cos of the silly rnr thing. why did i join it?
i mean yes...it's cos i wanna help the kids and all but then..waah...it's eating up my energy and time. nvm. must pull through it.

HAIYO!

2007-06-06T14:57:00.000+08:00

just leave me can?

there are times when i just don't feel like eating. normal right?? no, i'm not dieting. no, i don't have an eating disorder. i just got no appetite. what's the big deal? when i dun eat... kenna scolding. when i eat slightly more than normal..u call me a pig.

when i talk, u say i talk rubbish. so fine. i shut up. then kenna questioned why i'm being so silent.

when i dun get enuf rest kenna scolded. say it's unhealthy. sure get sick one. when i do get 8 hrs of rest. say i'm lazy.sleep so much.

when i get angry, say i give attitude.say i'm rude. when i'm normal, ask why i'm being so good.

when i dont do chores..i'm irresponsible and not helping out. when i do them, i'm trying to suck up??

then still wan say..what's the point of spending so much time in church..no difference anyway.

it's like everything also wrong la.
now then, what's the point about being good..when while being horrible i get the same treatment?
no logic.
talk about character building.
my gosh.
go think first can?
____________________________________

aahs. now back to mugging. can't wait to go back to school. it'll keep me sane.
all this staying at home for more than 8 hrs a day is like weird.
i've got so much stuff to do. yet i'm bored.
and i guess that takes a toll on my brain. it's like only half-functioning.
LOL
so i'm back here writing crap cos well..i'm bored.
seriously got nth to write.
nvm.

2007-06-05T21:43:00.000+08:00

was so bothered ytd. actually not yesterday. but for a few weeks. lol. decided to collate stuff. so free hor? i spent the night just writing my 2-page filled notebook thingy.

like this..and more.... u can't see much cos of the bad lighting and bad ant-sized handwriting.
but anyways. it's not nice to be kaypo.

it's kinda dark cos i was only writing wif my table lamp on. LOL. call me crazy.

but really...

CAR SHOPPING!!

2007-06-01T14:03:00.000+08:00

HAHAS!!

went SHOPPING yesterday. CAR SHOPPING!!!

man it was so fun. lol. i mean i realised so many new things. the things companies do to cheat ppl of their money. and the things worth paying for in a super nice car. LOL.

first went to the Nissan showroom. i had this mindset that Nissan cars are apek cars. so kept telling my dad not to go there. lol. but turned out the cars aren't apek-kind at all. except for one la. the sunny ex-saloon. CMI. super CMI.

this is the latio sedan/latio premium model. they look almost exactly the same la. except there's major interior and performance difference. and they're like about $3k apart. so here:

latio sedan:
New aluminium HR15DE engine
-
Class-leading spaciousness
-
Intelligent key system featuring keyless entry and engine ignition
-
Immobilizer system
-
Fully automatic air-con system with Plasmacluster Ion feature
-
Foot operated parking brake
-
Kenwood radio cassette MP3 head unit with 10-piece CD changer and 4 Nissan genuine speakers
-
Dual airbags
-
Electronic Brake-force Distribution system (EBD)
-
Anti-lock Braking System (ABS) with Brake Assist (BA)

****************************************************************

latio premium :
New aluminium HR15DE engine
-
Class-leading spaciousness
-
Extronic CVT
-
Intelligent key system featuring keyless entry and engine ignition
-
Immobilizer system
-
Leather/alcantara combination upholstery
-
Fully automatic air-con system with Plasmacluster Ion feature
-
Foot operated parking brake
-
Front fog lamps
-
Auto-light system
-
15-inch sports rims (locally-fitted)
-
Kenwood radio cassette MP3 head unit with 10-piece CD changer and 6 Nissan genuine speakers
-
Dual airbags
-
Electronic Brake-force Distribution system (EBD)
-
Anti-lock Braking System (ABS) with Brake Assist (BA)

***********************************************************

and not only that. when u drive right...wah super nice la.

there's overdrive and some dunno what S function thingy. LOL.

and my dad was driving like some race-car driver. and the car dealer was telling me my dad was a drifter. JOKE! but really..he think he's so pro la. my gosh. haha.

so compare these with this:

this is the sylphy.

slightly more ex. has nicer features. but..to me..has a terrible driving feel.

so it's like u pay more for luxury but then while driving can feel the gear change. wad's the point rite? u're supposed to pay more not to feel the change. hais. but obviously this one got so much interior space!!! like 5 ppl can sit behind without feeling squashed.

haha i think the intelligent key system thing's really cool. it's like if ur hands are busy and the keys are in ur pocket. just press some black button on the handle and the car unlocks. haha. ok enough bout this.

after test driving like 3 cars. went to toyota. tot of buying altis i think. personally i never liked toyota. but just went along there to make daddy happy. after seeing nissan cars. toyota just couldn't compare. somehow u pay more for a less sleek and less sophisticated car. it's so simple la. like nothing fancy or interesting. it's like a BASIC model. and u pay more!! eeyer.

and like the new vios..the one that comes in 3 different models, J,E and G..pathetic.

the model we bought 2 years back..it's better than all 3 of those combined. and to think selling this car would be such a big waste. cos it's better than whatever's there now! irritating eh. and also..toyota is gonna be paying us less for our car compared to some others. so weird. and we thought being loyal customers would give us an extra edge. craps.

haha but i think car shopping's more fun than regular shopping. helped daddy make good decisions. ((:

yay. then we went shopping for me. haha. yay. but so tiring. that's why i hate shopping. internet shopping's far more convenient. shop sitting down. pay by internet transaction and the stuff gets delivered to you. i mean..that is if u don't mind not trying on stuff before buying them. but not advised for safe shoppers who dun like taking risks. lol.

my account's draining. must sell more. lol.

i just realised. i had this buying-and-selling thing in me since primary school days. LOL. used to sell my stuff and i would buy my friends' stuff and so on. so cool eh.

haha so now all i've got left to buy are : 1 jacket. 1 pair of slippers. 1 new pair of specs. (:

done.

so where do i start?

2007-05-29T15:01:00.000+08:00

been a really interesting week.

had a super no-hype no-oomph sports day thing at sch last week. it's was sports day. and i was bored. now that's weird.

haha then thrus had soccer finals!! whoo! but mj lost to rj: 1. referee is such a moron. 2. players din play as well as they used to. so there. met a long lost friend...ok so she's not so long lost..but it's been years since i've met her. imagine rival sch kids cheering for e game tgt. so funny! ppl kept staring at us but it's not as if i care. and she din let me take pictures cos she had a pimple on her nose! hmph.

after match rushed to church. good service! (:

fri sch hol. but had econs tutorial. haha but i ponned it. had fun sleeping in. heh!

rushed for night mtg at church on fri too.

SATURATION point.

lol.

crystals form. filter. wash with cold distilled water/alcohol. leave to evaporate. wah la! pure dry samples of crystals!

whaha ok sorry. chem starts to flood back.oh yah... i still have my copper(II) sulphate crystal i made in sec 3 stuck on my table lamp neck thingy. it's still shiny and crystally. lol. NICE!

the fri service freaked me out. as in reaaally freaked me out. i mean i know God moves interestingly. but never thought it'd happen this way. haha good encounter though. sat too. u can really feel the presence of God resting in the place. it was as if, if my vision was just sharper i could just see so much more at that point. i mean yah..i saw a number of visions. pretty cool. but i have no clue to what they mean. most of the time it requires at least 2 weeks of waiting before i get the analysis. haha. and like a few months before it comes to pass. so yah. now's just waiting time. (:

on sat night i just had a (fill in the feeling) to put on paper my recent visions. like, to draw them out and add colour and stuff... and man, it's tough work. it was a piece of cake to get the nice sketches out and bold lines added. but the whole colour filling process was painstaking. too make sure the effects are there and add the accurate hue and stuff...waah..took me 3hrs to halfway colour(NOT using colour pencils) what i drew in 5 mins. is it really that hard or am i just bad? or am i just a crazy perfectionist? so now i've only done up like 3/4 of one. drew out 3 already though. doing this kind of stuff at 2 plus in the morning and still have the strength to wake up for 1st service that sunday was certainly wow-ing. haha. =)

after such a wonderful weekend, monday was such an unedifying day.

gp exam. then went out with the class. then went to watch Pirates of The Carribean 3 as a cohort. haha. gg to sch and hearing what ppl say kind of sickens me. hais. but the movie was AWESOME!! the effects were super cool. and oh yah... imagine having someone propose to his gf while they were both in the midst of a swordfighting scene. and getting married on some half-wrecked ship while the enemy is like all around trying to kill you.. whaha so funny! but tentacle man was GROSS!!! eew. so gross. haha.

trying hard to put on a smile and wake up early and head back to sch this week. my mind's already programmed to holiday-time. so argh. haha.

I WANT MY BON VIVANT!! not just that. one who can pay for the stuff too! haha.

mess!

2007-05-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

ah hah!
wad a weird week.
6 tests in 4 days.
think i'm gna fail all.
haha.
craps.
feel so loserfied. study so much.
then go sit for paper. as if i din even study at all.
so genius right? >.<
spent friday night slacking.
dunno wad crap i was doing la.
then came sat!
wonderful day.
left home at 7.30am for morning run at east coast. met ppl at pp. then walked over.
ran for like half an hour i think. halfway i think i would've passed out. smart me went to run on an empty stomach. and halfway my mum called also. i sounded so breathless and she was like - ''eh dun run and die can! stop running la. walk! just walk can!!'' lol. she's so funny.
after that went to breakfast at macs. so unhealthy but who cares rite?
then had baptism. ANN! and TIM!! or rather. GRACE!! and JOHNATHAN!! haha. yay.
then had zone service at church. was good! it's been awhile since i've heard xueying preach and the message was perfect for what most of us have been going through these few weeks. so yea.
then came he ultimate spoiler like always. kenna scolded for not picking up my phone. and not returning miss calls. not my fault wad. my phone wasn't with me. and when i finally had it with me, it dint show any missed calls. hais. nvm.
so went home asap cos parents were mad cos i've been out for like 12 hours. so did work till 10. then watched match!! and finally blues won! haha. but it was quite a boring final match i'd say.
almost at the end then kenna scolded for staying up late. told me go sleep immediately. like wad la! hais. nvm. was upset. couldn't sleep.
but still managed to attend first. then wasn't allowed to attend 3rd. sad case.
came home to try mug. but kenna more scolding. so in the end spoilt my mood to do work and nth was done. went to sch this morning with only math tutorials done. thankfully i managed to finsh the rest during breaks. (:
got silly ICS elections tmr. wad's the point when there're only 3 members???? hais. hopefully i get what i deserve.
GPP done!! finally!!! i'm so proud of all of us. yay!
alrights.